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Parent22

15 ýear old "wants" to move in with dad in different state

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since a move from MI to WI 5 years ago?

My son moved with me 5 years ago from Michigan to Wisconsin and it was court approved. Since living in WI he has made great friends, plays in sports he never did before, and has great grades in school. Back in December of 2018, my son told an older cousin of his back in Michigan that he wanted to move back to Michigan. This older cousin then told my son's father this and it opened a can of worms. When my son first told me he wanted to move back because he missed his family there, he stated he only wanted to try it for a year and then make a decision. Our son went back and forth for months as to if he was going to move or not. When he would go to his dad's for visitation, he would come back saying he wanted to move, then be at our house and not really say for sure he wanted to move. He finally said no, that he was not going to move back to Michigan in May. Now, here in September, I received court papers from my ex requesting change of custody and for our son to be interviewed. There is no abuse or neglect, or anything else like that in our household. Could I actually loose custody of my son?

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All things being equal there is very little chance you child will be removed from your custody. While the judge may take his feelings on the matter into account the ruling shouldn't be based on them.

 

This is why you should have never given your child much say in the matter to begin with.

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PayrollHRGuy,

 

I know this sounds mean, but I did not give him a choice to begin with. My son't father fought me in court about the moving, which was approved by the court after speaking with our son. We moved the summer of him going into 5th grade. The only visitation time that he has lost with him is he used to have him for 3 hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays, otherwise visitation is still the same. There is no harm in our home. I believe he wants to move because of some jealousy issues with other siblings at his father's and he feels like he is on the back burner and just a visitor when he's there, but will never admit that to anyone. 

 

After my son's cousin told his father he wanted to move back to Michigan, his father questioned him about it and he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings so he said yes, he wanted to move back. I never told him that he was going to be able to choose. His father told him that he would take this matter as far as he needed to, to get him back to Michigan which resulting in him filing for change of custody with the court. 

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50 minutes ago, Parent22 said:

since a move from MI to WI 5 years ago?

 

This is neither a question nor a complete sentence.

 

 

51 minutes ago, Parent22 said:

Could I actually loose custody of my son?

 

In the abstract, virtually anything is possible.  Since you've been served with papers for a modification, you'll want to engage counsel to respond and oppose.

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Sorry about the cut off sentence. I was wondering if there are no issues with our household, doing well in school, good friends, and involved in sports, since we've been gone for 5 year, how would this move benefit him?

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4 minutes ago, Parent22 said:

I know this sounds mean, but I did not give him a choice to begin with.

 

This certainly sounds like you were giving him a say in the matter.

 

55 minutes ago, Parent22 said:

When my son first told me he wanted to move back because he missed his family there, he stated he only wanted to try it for a year and then make a decision. Our son went back and forth for months as to if he was going to move or not. When he would go to his dad's for visitation, he would come back saying he wanted to move, then be at our house and not really say for sure he wanted to move. He finally said no, that he was not going to move back to Michigan in May.

 

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In regards to this information below, This first sentence is when my son was telling me he wanted to move back, why he wanted to, and how he was hoping things would go. His father kept pushing into his head that this was up to him and his decision. I was trying not to put him in the middle of all of this. I feel if I would have said no, right from the start, his father still would have filed papers. 

 

When my son first told me he wanted to move back because he missed his family there, he stated he only wanted to try it for a year and then make a decision. Our son went back and forth for months as to if he was going to move or not. When he would go to his dad's for visitation, he would come back saying he wanted to move, then be at our house and not really say for sure he wanted to move. He finally said no, that he was not going to move back to Michigan in May.

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23 minutes ago, Parent22 said:

Our son went back and forth for months as to if he was going to move or not.

 

You should have shut it down during those months.

 

Yes your husband would have done it anyway but it would have kept your kid out of the conversation at least with you.

 

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My son's father and I were actually never married. 

 

I let my sun talk about it and then his father kept calling and texting me about it. Also, he kept talking to our son about living with him. Yes,  I should habe told his dad no right from the beginning, but the way his father works, he would have taken that out on our son and I was trying to avoid that. I figured once our son told him no he wasn't going to move back, he would have left it alone. 

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3 hours ago, Parent22 said:

I was wondering if there are no issues with our household, doing well in school, good friends, and involved in sports, since we've been gone for 5 year, how would this move benefit him?

 

I don't care to speculate about the merits of the case based on a few sentences of information from only one of the parties involved.

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