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Petee pete

Child care and father rights.

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My ex-girlfriend is now married to a known gang member and convicted felon he's doing life for attempted murder. She is now taking my three-year-old daughter and my nine-year-old daughter with out my permission forcingly to go see this murderer in prison. My little  girls have no buisness  over ther. What can i do. Please help.

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First, let me just say that I understand your concern and am not making light of it.


That being said, Mom has as much right to say where your mutual daughter goes as you do. If you want to force your ex to leave your daughter behind when she goes to visit her husband, you are going to have to go back to court and get a court to agree with you and issue an order to that effect.

 

Otherwise, Mom's rights to determine what is a suitable environment for your daughter stand equal to yours.

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If you've never been to court, then you don't have custody - you have an agreement between the two of you that she can break at any time. And even if you do have court-ordered custody, she can still take the child anywhere she wants to unless there is an order in place that says she can't.

 

So either go to court and GET an order that says she can't take the child visiting in the jail, or accept the fact that it's going to happen and let it go. Those are your options.

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On 9/1/2019 at 5:05 PM, Petee pete said:

What can i do.

 

For starters, was your paternity ever established?  If so, how was it established?  Are there existing court orders relating to custody and visitation?  Your statements that you "never went to court" and that you "both have custody" are conflicting.

 

The bottom line, though, is that, unless there is a court order that prohibits her from taking the kids with her when she visits her husband, she is entirely within her rights to take them.  

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No ther was no paternity ever established.  I do know  they're my kids tho. I was and have always been  there  fir my girls. I signed  there  birth certificates when they were born. And they look like me so much.  Actually  now that i remember  we had a meeting  with the child support,  i have them 35 % of the time. I only agreed to that because  she was worried she might not have the complete  rent. In reality it should  be 50 50.

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Child support and visitation are two different things.  If there is a court order declaring you the father and ordering you to pay child support, then you are the legal father.  However, that they calculated visitation time for child support purposes, does not make that calculation a court order.  That would be separate.  So, if you want an order you can enforce for visitation purposes, you need to go to court for that.  As it stands, mom has complete say on your visits or anybody else's.

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10 hours ago, Petee pete said:

No ther was no paternity ever established.

 

11 hours ago, Petee pete said:

I signed  there  birth certificates when they were born.

 

Parents don't typically sign birth certificates.  However, when a child is born to an unmarried woman, it is typically impossible for a man to be identified on the birth certificate as the father unless both the father and mother have signed an acknowledgment of paternity.  Did you do that for either or both of the kids?  If so, then your paternity is established.  However, in the absence of a court order regarding custody and visitation, you have no enforceable parental rights.

 

 

11 hours ago, Petee pete said:

we had a meeting  with the child support

 

I have no idea what you mean by "the child support."  Child support is money paid by one parent to the other.  You cannot meet with "child support."

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None of this changes the bottom line: Until or unless there is a court order that prohibits Mom from taking the child to see her stepfather in prison,  there is nothing you can do to prevent it. If you want to prevent it, and I quite understand why you do, the ONLY option you have is to get a court order to that effect.

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