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benihana223

Ex continually dropping off kids at my house unsupervised

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I have run into a continuing situation where, for various reasons, my ex seems to think it is ok to drop our kids (13, 12, & 8) off at my house when it is his custodial day.  This happens the most frequent when I am either working or out of town, and never am I given a heads up, let alone asked if it is ok.  The major issues with this is that my kids then have their friends at my house, are not supervised, eat all of my food, leave my house a mess, etc...  Does anyone have experience with something like this?  What recourse do I have?  Do I need to have the courts step in?

 

 

thanks in advance

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The natural response is to ask you what your ex said when you called him to discuss the situation.

 

Regardless, if you can't work this out with him, you'll need to involve the court.

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33 minutes ago, benihana223 said:

The major issues with this is that my kids then have their friends at my house, are not supervised, eat all of my food, leave my house a mess, etc...  Does anyone have experience with something like this?  What recourse do I have?

 

Yes, I have lots of experience with something like that. It's called disciplining your children. You should try it. There's no excuse for their behavior when they are home alone. Since you are the custodial parent and they live there, there is plenty of punishment you can dish out. As long as you accept the behavior unchallenged you have nothing to complain about.

 

PS: Nothing wrong with your ex dropping your kids off when you aren't home. They are certainly old enough to be on their own.

 

 

 

 

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28 minutes ago, adjusterjack said:

 

Yes, I have lots of experience with something like that. It's called disciplining your children. You should try it. There's no excuse for their behavior when they are home alone. Since you are the custodial parent and they live there, there is plenty of punishment you can dish out. As long as you accept the behavior unchallenged you have nothing to complain about.

 

PS: Nothing wrong with your ex dropping your kids off when you aren't home. They are certainly old enough to be on their own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I appreciate you attacking my disciplinary style, but maybe your ignorance caused you to miss the intent of my question....try re-reading it, eliminate the judgemental thoughts, and respond if you feel that you can add value

 

As far as my children being left alone, that is not the issue...the issue is that it is my ex'es day...should he not have to find a suitable location for them to be, other than my home, especially when I have repeatedly requested that he does not drop them off without my knowledge?

 

 

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I'd try to set up a plan with the kids that they let you know when dad drops them off so that you do have the knowledge that they are there. If you are out of town, it might be up to you to setup an emergency back up plan to him. And you work through what they  should do when this happens. In the end, would you rather they get dropped off at your home or the local park/mall/some girlfriend he hardly knows?    While it would be nice if he planned this with you, he's not doing so and doesn't seem to care and like you said, it's a continuing situation.  So your best bet is trying to work around it with your children and secondary plans.  (and no that's NOT an attack on you at all). But sometimes you have to change/control the things that you can and if your house is the kids home base, then i don't see you getting a judge to agree that he CAN'T drop them off there since the older two are definitely old enough to stay home alone (not sure about overnight - that might depend on state laws)

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42 minutes ago, benihana223 said:

As far as my children being left alone, that is not the issue...t

 

Excuse us.  You are the one that wrote.

 

1 hour ago, benihana223 said:

The major issues with this is that my kids then have their friends at my house, are not supervised, eat all of my food, leave my house a mess, etc.

 

So you see how we may be confused with what you think the problem is.  Have you discussed this with your Ex?

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2 hours ago, benihana223 said:

I appreciate you attacking my disciplinary style, but maybe your ignorance caused you to miss the intent of my question....try re-reading it,

 

You try re-reading it.

 

Your questions:

 

3 hours ago, benihana223 said:

Does anyone have experience with something like this?  What recourse do I have?  Do I need to have the courts step in?

 

Followed this:

 

3 hours ago, benihana223 said:

The major issues with this is that my kids then have their friends at my house, are not supervised, eat all of my food, leave my house a mess, etc... 

 

And you called your children's behavior the "major issues."

 

So I addressed your "major issues."

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