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Obrandywine

Irresponsible with child’s survivor benefits

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My grandkids receive survivor benefits and va because their father/step father passed away. Their mother spends their benefits on everything including buying things for herself like clothes and makeup and many unnecessary items. She will go on trips and send the kids to a sitter for several days which she pays with kids money (both the trip and the sitter). She also decided to put 80000 in a safe in her garage and claims it was stolen. She says part of that was the kids sis and part was her insurance, but I thought she was required to have the sis in a savings account. Wondering if I have any legal standing to try and become their legal representative so she does not continue to squander their money or possibly fight for custody. 

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On 7/27/2019 at 4:24 AM, Obrandywine said:

My grandkids receive survivor benefits and va because their father/step father passed away. Their mother spends their benefits on everything including buying things for herself like clothes and makeup and many unnecessary items.

 

Let me ask you a couple questions.

 

First, is it the father or the stepfather who died?  It would be awfully odd for children to receive such benefits as a result of a step father's death.  Second, are you the parent of the children's mother or their father?  Third, how do you know the particulars of this woman's finances?  Where I'm going with this is as follows:  Where does the money for the kids' survivor benefits go?  Into a bank account, right?  Does other money go into that bank account (e.g., the mother's income from a job and/or her own survivor benefits)?  If the answer is yes, how do you know she's spending the kids' survivor benefits and not her own or her other income on the "clothes and make up and many unnecessary items"?

 

 

On 7/27/2019 at 4:24 AM, Obrandywine said:

I thought she was required to have the sis in a savings account.

 

Why did you think this?

 

 

On 7/27/2019 at 4:24 AM, Obrandywine said:

Wondering if I have any legal standing to try and become their legal representative so she does not continue to squander their money or possibly fight for custody.

 

Nothing in your post suggests any basis exists for the mother to lose custody.  I suggest you contact folks with the SSA and the VA about the other part.  However, typically, survivor benefits for children go to the surviving parent (or other legal guardian) to defray the cost of raising the children.  For example, when I was a kid and my father died, my mother received survivor benefits from the SSA that went into her regular checking account to help cover monthly bills.  She occasionally bought "unnecessary things."  Are you suggesting she was acting inappropriately?

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Are the children actually neglected? Do they have food, clothing, a home to live in, medical care? Vacations are not required. It doesn't sound like she is leaving them unattended if they are staying with a sitter. If you could prove that she was truly neglecting the children, you *may* have a case to at least try to get custody. It isn't clear how these children and their parents/step parents are related to you.

 

If you simply disagree with how their mother handles family finances, you are out of luck and can join the legions of other grandparents out there who disagree with how the grandchildren are being raised.

 

 

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