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LKGreen

Taking child with no paternity established

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I'm gonna try to skim through this without missing any key areas. This begins in January when my current boyfriend's ex freaked out and went after me after seeing he was with someone. So, I freaked out left my 2 daughters with my exhusband and ran as to avert her attention towards me. Fast forward 3 months later and my bf and I are back in our home state. I find out that my children have been split up. My oldest daughter is still with my ex husband. But my youngest is now living with her illegitimate father, whom she doesn't know nor has he filed any legal papers to establish paternity. I want her back. But everyone is saying I need to go through the courts. While away my ex filed emergency custody and now has guardianship over my kids. Between the two men, they believe drugs and all sorts of illegal things had been going on. None of which are true, but it does raise eyebrows amongst anyone I've talked to. So, how do I go about getting them back, namely my youngest, without alot of issue? If I go to court, I would have to represent myself, and I'm not sure what all I need to prove in order to get her back home.

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10 hours ago, LKGreen said:

This begins in January when my current boyfriend's ex freaked out and went after me after seeing he was with someone.

 

What does "went after me" mean?

 

 

10 hours ago, LKGreen said:

So, I freaked out left my 2 daughters with my exhusband and ran as to avert her attention towards me.

 

Huh?

 

 

10 hours ago, LKGreen said:

I find out that my children have been split up. My oldest daughter is still with my ex husband. But my youngest is now living with her illegitimate father

 

Again, huh?  Is your ex-husband not the father of your children?

 

 

10 hours ago, LKGreen said:

But everyone is saying I need to go through the courts.

 

Everyone?  I assume that this means that a small handful of people are telling you this  What is it that these folks think you "need to go through the courts" to do?

 

 

10 hours ago, LKGreen said:

how do I go about getting them back, namely my youngest, without alot of issue?

 

I don't know what "without alot [sic] of issue" means, but if there's a court order regarding custody of your children and you want it changed, you'll have to seek a further order from the court.

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If there is no court order already in place, you can literally just go and take her. If there is no proof (i.e. text messages, etc) that you did not want to give her up or want her with him, they can't say anything even if they take you to court. Better yet would be if you had her and went to establish everything in court yourself. It does not look good that you "ran off" with your bf for 3 months and then came back and suddenly want your kids again, but I can understand the situation if you had to fear for your safety or theirs or something. Judges might not be so sympathetic. However, it also does not look good that the person you entrusted to care for your daughters in your absence let one of them go live with someone else without your knowledge. If there was any kind of agreement as to their care, or even without as long as there is no existing court order, there is no reason you should not be able to go get her right now. If you have birth records, etc, it might help if cops were called by the other father she is with now. With no existing order, cops cannot say she has to stay with the strange man or can't go back to the mother, you. Hope this helps. Get free info on avvo.com. Best of luck and please do better this time around. Kids need stability, screw some vengeful ex. 

Edit: I didn't see the rest of your post till now. An emergency custody order does not usually last long. If it expired, get your kid. If not, find the details and if you can get your kid, do it. If the order says she is to be in your ex's care, you will need to go to court to get her back if he thinks you are doing drugs and does not want to give her up or have the other dude give her up. As you were gone for 3 months, your options might be limited. You can plead your case in court if need be. Apply for legal aid if you can't afford a lawyer, no matter what your next step is. Custody can be complicated. Judges look for stability. Show you can and want to be stable. You can't just run off on your kids and expect everything to be cool 3 months later. It hurts everyone involved, even with the best intentions. 

Edited by erich
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