Jump to content

Recommended Posts

My husband and his attorney mis-represented the true value of an arbitrated asset

To influence the ruling that i would get support until he retired from his medical practice, my husband said he was not retiring. 6 weeks after we signed the agreement, he gave notice he was retiring

My attorney misquoted me and said I could have his earnings if he set up a medical practice in another state


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites
40 minutes ago, LegalAdviceAppreciated said:

My husband and his attorney mis-represented the true value of an arbitrated asset

To influence the ruling that i would get support until he retired from his medical practice, my husband said he was not retiring. 6 weeks after we signed the agreement, he gave notice he was retiring

My attorney misquoted me and said I could have his earnings if he set up a medical practice in another state



Is this three issue or just one centering around your ex retiring?  And what state are you in?

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

The issues

North Carolina, Mecklenburg County

1. attorney and husband mis-represented the true value of an arbitrate asset

2. my attorney misquoted me as saying he could have his earnings from a medical practice if he moved to another state

3. My husband lied before the Separation Agreement was signed and said he was not moving

4. The day before our attorneys signed the  stipulation of voluntary dismissal with prejudice, he sent me an email that said, I will be retiring in 

5. Our agreement requires we arbitrate with two people who have followed the case from the beginning. He lied to them during the arbitration ruling and afterward

6. I believe  the draft document for the arbitration was quoted rather than the signed and notarized MOU


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

1. What was the asset?  Since you didn't restate the bit about him retiring I think that was it.

2. What has your attorney said about that issue?

3. People can change their mind.

4. OK, then you were notified. Did you tell your lawyer?

5. People have been known to lie. How did this affect you?

6. A draft is just that a draft.  

  1. 1.
    a preliminary version of a piece of writing.
    "the first draft of the party's manifesto"


You aren't being clear about what your issue is nor have you said why you haven't talked to your lawyer about all of this.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites


37 minutes ago, PayrollHRGuy said:

You aren't being clear about what your issue is nor have you said why you haven't talked to your lawyer about all of this.


Nor have you asked a question or provided anything that would indicate what you're seeking from the anonymous strangers who post here.



3 hours ago, LegalAdviceAppreciated said:

My husband and his attorney mis-represented the true value of an arbitrated asset


Please explain what "an arbitrated asset" means.



2 hours ago, LegalAdviceAppreciated said:

The issues



Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites


My husband and I seperated in 2012. I had him sign and notarize an agreement that stated that "all income from his medical practice would be put in a joint account and used for "reasonable"  financial support" . There was no end date to our support. This agreement was to stay in place until I either invited him back into the home or we amicably reconciled. 

    shortly after we seperated , my husband was diagnosed with a sex addiction. He confessed to having "lust hits" when he allowed the gown of his patients drop open so that he saw their breasts. He was a plastic surgery and so he did breast augmentations. He never old me of doing anything indecent, but one night, when I complained of something with my own breast, he fell into a trance as he molded my breast as if he was shaping a breast for augmentation. 

     I never reported him to the medical board. I'm not sure if he would have lost his license.

In 2015 my husband  asked me to set aside a book I had written (my 35 years marriage to a sex addict) and to postpone divorce proceedings because one of his partners was suing the practice for firing him after he had an affair with a patient. Another partner had something going on with an employee. My husband asked that I remain quiet and post pone the drove until this passed. Setting aside the book meant I couldn't get a job at a university and have a way to pay for my medical insurance. I agreed.

He promised that he would met with my divorce financial planner and verify the numbers she had on her asset sheet. 

    He called me from the mediation of the suing doctor and asked if I had remained quiet as promised. As the law suite was going on, to show me he was willing to give me half of whatever he earned, he set an appointment to meet with the financial planner, then at the last minute said he wanted to see her alone. I canceled their appointment.

    .Finally, after he promised to correct the numbers she had on her asset chart if I allowed him to see them, I agree to a meeting without my being there At the meeting, he promised the AMJ, the financial planner, that he planned to give me 50% of whatever he earned. ( I think  now that he said this so that she would let him see the numbers).

After the meeting he said that all the numbers were wrong. I said to him, "I only could give her what you have given me."

Then the law suite ended and he never updated the asset chart as promised. 

    My husband organized a family cruise shortly thereafter. He, I , the three sons and one son's wife went. We laughed. We played odder board on the deck at sunset. At the end of the cruise, I asked, him, why are we divorcing? His charmed face that the family  saw on the trip turned to anger. "Because when I loo at you, he said, "you disgust me." I believe now that the family cruise was a big show to give the appearance that we were still married to his co-workers. 

    A year later, 2016, we had a mediation with AMj, the financial planner and SDL. The mediator. In this mediation, Paul promised that if he made money, I got half.

He promised me 50% from his medical practice and to share everything from any other source of income. He said that after he retired he did not want to share anything more with me.

    Before we could get this signed, he started saying he wanted the marriage bifurcated so that he could date. He was already dating as I found airline tickets to a 3 day trip in New york. He pressed and I said no.

    I felt completely bullied and when he filed the papers for to get the divorce, I got an attorney. We have another mediation. HIs attorney presented paperwork claiming my husband only had ownership in 1 building when in fact he is  a partner in two .And his attorney presented the value of my husband practice at less than it really was. thank fully a well know business accessor volunteered his time and evaluated the business and the two buildings so that we had the accurate information. At the mediation, my husband said I could have half the value of the building when he sold it. 


        My attorney said it wouldn't hurt anything bifurcate the marriage and  so she had me run to through the airport on my way to costa rice the day after mediation to get the paperwork signed for the bifurcation. My husband told my sons then that "If I make money, your mother gets half."  My husband only offered me 2.5 years of alimony for a 35.5 year marriage with a $100,000 distributive award if he reduced his earnings to less than 50% of his 2017 income and $100,000 distributive award if he left his current job before October 20, 2019.  And a 6 months notice provision. I took the suggestion of the mediator and agreed to these alimony conditions after he agreed to give me 50% of his  "CLA"  asset. it was the only way for me to get half of what he earned. 


In my husband's  medical practice,  the doctors shared and shared alike all income that was brought into the practice.

Each doctor, however, had their own individual C-corp to hold their separate business entities --whatever that might be. This money belonged solely to that doctor.

Initially, the medical practice had big plans. But when it came down to it, each doctor was paid a $5,000  "management and marketing" check twice a year by the medical practice to "manage a building they jointly owned." Then each doctor's individual  C-corp received the earnings from  that doctor's separate business entity,  whatever that might be. The C-corp was given the initials of the doctor it belonged to. So my husband's c-corp was named PAW. 


CLA was a C-corp established to hold all income from any separate entity outside of my husband's  medical practice. 

when we seperated in 2012, CLA had a $30,000 value. And nothing in the years that followed. I was suspicious that my husband would retire from his current job and go to Utah and set up his own medical practice. And so having CLA as an asset allowed me to fulfill on our guiding principle, If HE made money, I got half because CLA would hold any future business entity C might establish outside of his current job.


My husband's attorney and he offered me the first year of alimony with 'no terminating events" so I could have a year of income without the threat of losing it even if I married. And so I requested CLA "now, in the future, with no terminating events." With CLA agree upon, I agreed to sell the family home and to split it 50-50. My husband had not lived in the home for 6 years and the value had tripled during that time based on the market increase and my work. I renovated the money with marital funds. And was able to sell the house for $250,000 more than the two realtor appraisals I had received. The man who photographed our home said it was a tear down and later said in an email, "wow, you got way more for the house than any one thought you would.'
    My husband initially said he would take the estimated value of the home from the 401K and it was estimated to be worth 1.2K. But after he saw how hard I was working, he insisted it was worth $100,000 more than that. Finally, I just agreed to split the house 50-50 in keeping with our guiding principle. I allowed him to receive the $250,000 tax exemption he was NOT allowed to have since he hadn't lived in the house for 2 out of the past 5 years before selling it.  I provided details of the renovation costs to help him out. 


     After my husband agreed to CLA as a shared asset  in our draft Memorandum of Understanding (MOU)  and I granted the bifurcation and to share the home sale 50-50, my attorney saw my husband and his attorney at the court house to finalize the bifurcation and grant him the live divorce. His attorney promised to have the MOU sign within the week. But instead both of them did not respond to us for 9.5 weeks. I put the house on the market when the dogwoods and azaleas bloomed to get the best price. As people came flooding into our home C drove past our home at the end of the culdesac. 

     I started to panic when I realized that I no longer had anything secure until the Memorandum of understanding was signed and notarized. A realtor warned me. do not sell this house until your contract is signed or you will be begging him for everting two years from now as he husband has served her with bifurcation papers and she was on her way to court. 

    I got an offer on the house for 1.45. My attorney pressured me to sign the contract. suddenly C and his attorney are in action and C promises not to do anything to interfere with the sale of the home. 

    I refuse to sign the house contract without the MOU signed and CLA secured. When I stalled, the owes withdrew their offer.


     We push and go the MOU finished and had mediation. What a relief to see  I had CLA.

  My husband had offered to share all attorney costs if I bifurcated the marraige. He said this was no longer willing to do that. Because I had CLA, I agreed to pay my own attorney fees. The agreement said he would now provide the asset chart information in a timely manner, and his attorney said he would write up the Separation agreement. when I pushed to have that put in the MOU, my attorney, nodded no.

      I was told that i had to sell the house by June 1 or turn it over to a realtor. It was May 10, I agreed. 

     On May 28, I woke with a message; you will now sell the house. I ran to Home depot to get for sale by owner signs. But as I was making them with a friend, someone called form Maine, flew in the next day and gave us an offer for the  house  at 1.45K.

     Single handily I cleared the home. As I was moving I made a note to myself to insert the CLA bank account into our draft separation  agreement. After I moved, I met with LM, my husband's accountant after he and his attorney gave me a letter stating I could meet with her. IN that meeting she confirmed, CLA represented in separate business entity outside his work at his current medical practice.

   My husband met with AMJ two days in a row. She called me and said he cried and said he had been good to me his entire life. She wanted me to give him the paintings of the children he had taken from the home without my permission. She assured me, "there is absolutely no deception here."

     After i moved, I inserted the CLA  bank account into the draft and AMJ met with my husband and their attorney. After they met, she said the changes were "minimal." 

My husband's attorney saw my attorney and said, we have very few changes.

    but when the draft came back, they said they only intended for me to heave the bank account for CLA and nothing more and that Paul's CPA, LM, had suggested they dissolved CLA.

    Days before the mediation, my sons called. "Dad has told us that if he made money, you get half. We could have come and seen you this weekend for mother's day, but we are making you pay for dragging out this divorce." My third son called and told me that I could come when he blesses this baby girl in a few months, but after that, I was only allowed to come when she turned 8 and was baptized. 

     in 2001, my husband told me every six weeks he made a mistake marrying me. I never said a work to my sons who were young and in meddle school at the time. 

It broke my heart to think their father could turn them against me to such a degree that they had cut me off from their lives.  How could he do that to  them?

     My attorney calls me into her office to have me sign that the arbitration will be binding. I said, 'do i have to sign this?" The mediator SDL was watching as my attorney pushed the piece of paper towards me and so I sign. 

     At the arbitration, they ruled that CLA would "terminate" when my husband retired from his current job. The entire value of CLA was in what he provided when he left. 

The day the ruling comes out, my husband brags to a friend at the airport that he was "transitioning to Utah"

I call the mediator SDL and the attorney RB over our case and left a message to each of them that he was leaving. 

My attorney reprimanded me for this and assured me, "he will never leave his current job as he will never make this amount of money ever again."

     the mediator SDL called my husband. She directly asked him if he was moving to utah now. he said no. It was a vacation home. He loved his work here in CLT. She assured me that my alimony would continue for several more years. 

     this was July 9, 2018. After the MOU was signed in May 2017,  my attorney wrote a letter to his attorney in August 2017 and asked him to please please his withholding so I could get my one year of alimony with no terminating events. 

     This never happened. But on July 2018, after i have lived one year on net instead of gross while paying taxes on gross alimony and attorney fees, my husband was mr helpful. He released his withholdings. He offered one suggestion after another to develop a shared alimony calculator we would post in google docs and share as each check came through. He finally gave us the Tribute Malpractice with me listed as the beneficiary. We'd been asking for this since before the MOU was signed. 

      I paid all the attorney fees to develop the alimony calculator and to reconcile the joint 5867 account. I found a $20,000 error in Paul's favor and brought in my own CPA to finally get the job done. 

      Without telling anyone, My husband started at a utah practice July 30th. He signed the paper August 14 and continued to edit the alimony calculator up until October 7, the day before I signed. I called the Tribute Malpractice insurance company and they told me that my husband had changed his policy on July 30 from a group policy to an individual one. I alerted my attorney. She called my husband's attorney and they approved the "slip pages" and my husband stepped from his surgery to give me his charlotte address -- the place the check should be sent when he reached his full "retirement" from his medical practice.

      I signed  the agreement  Oct 8, 2018. On November 13, the day before the final bifurcation papers are final, he sends an email, "this is a heads up. I am retiring from my practice Charlotte in April."

      without ay warning, he deposited a check in the bank as one of the buildings sold this summer. our agreement states I should have told me immediately. He has get to provide any of the paper work for ANY retirement information. He is retiring May 1

     Is there anything I can do?














Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Any help appreciated. 

This is not what I agreed to by any stretch of the imagination.

Our agreement states the the mediator, SDL and the attorney RB, must rule on the case. He lied to both of them to get the CLA ruling.


It says I can ask for the values to be adjusted.

the PAW stipulation is not well written. It states that CLA was a service company that provided real estate management and consulting. And that based not he recommendation of LM, it was dissolved. 

      LM didn't recommend CLA be dissolved. My husband and her decided together that it didn't make financial sense since it didn't receive much money and cost a lot to maintain the c-corp.

      NO one knows that CLA was designed to hold all income from a separate business entity.

  I am just now putting all this together. I went to a doctor a month ago. she said, what happened to you. You can hardly speak in congregated sentences. Did you hit your head?

      when my sons called me I fell apart I am just now thinking straight. this is has been terrible. 

I would appreciate any advice or help for what I might do.

It is so painful to see that he was tricking me the entire time. Very sad. I gave so much to this man. I paid more for his medical schooling than he did. I protected him from losing his license. What can be done? 

     How can it be legal to take my asset away from me?

how can it be legal to "terminate" something with a stipulation "no terminating event?"

I went digging and saw that my attorney misquoted m. In her arbitration letter she quoted me as saying I thought all earnings would be his if he went to Utah."

    At one point she asked me, was the 2012 document signed and notarized? I am meeting May 1 with an attorney who told me in 2015 that bifurcation would nullify the agreement. 

      My attorney confessed that without my permission, she offered my husband the standard of living I was used to."

Also, in back tracking through all the emails, I see that AMJ was not part of any of the negotiations when I was given CLA. SDL the mediator was.

in looking, I see that AMJ was on a conference call with my husband and his brother -- I'm sure discussing his practice in utah. I did not give permission for this call. I have documentation that she was NOT to meet with anyone without my approval.

       Right before the arbitration, AMj told us that she thought my income ended when  my husband left his current practice. I know why she thought that now. she was not part of any of that. the mediator SDL was. 

But after I sold the house, AMJ stepped in the change the document. 

Is it possible to overturn the arbitration? they lied about what CLA was. My attorney  mis-quoted me. 

AMJ acted like a mediator. She's a financial neutral.

    I have paid $156 to my attorney. when I asked her to please request the two distributive awards, she said, you will never get that. 

in 5 years, my husband will have 1 million dollars more than me. IN one afternoon he makes 14,000. More than my estimated alimony for 2019.

My one son is now a drug addict. this is killing him. so sad.

please help me if you can






Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Current status:

    We are in breech because he has not paid the $100,000 distributive award and I did not receive a 6 month notice.

His attorney says I get the $100,000 distributive award and nothing more.

I have been advised to hold the case open until the taxes come through as I have receive no information about anything

our agreement states that he will pay all reasonable attorney fees if I have to get an attorney involved in any manner to solve this case. He is to pay rather he satisfies the breech or not



Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have an appointment to meet with a new attorney on Wednesday of next week to see if he can help me get what I am due.

My husband has not given us any information for 3 years. He retired this week and will be leaving the state.

up until 2017 -- just before we had our first mediation, I had a key to his apartment and would take my printer in and copy information. That is the only reason I have ANY information at all.

What are the ramifications of my telling the new attorney I had a key to his apartment and entered without his knowing



Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Per our signed adn notarized agreement, we are required to arbitrated our case with an attorney and mediator who have followed the case the entire time. 

I think that everything I have I was eventually given. thank you for your responsed

I'm thankful for a place to ask the hard questions I haven't dared ask.



Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Create New...