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KellyCJ

Mother keeping son from seeing his father

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My son has not seen his 2 year old son since November 5, 2018.  The ex girlfriend will not talk to him. She said that he will not see his son until a judge tells her she has to.

She wants child support, but has not filed any paper work. There is no court order for anything. My son filled for custody back in November.  The 3 of them lived in our house for 1.5 years.

Also in my house is my other son (Uncle) , our 2 year old dog (baby and dog spent 1st year together) and Grandpa.  She was giving him visitation, every other weekend and 1 night during the week.

This was all in place until October. We have hired an attorney to help with this, they said they can only discuss things with my son as he is the actual client. (We paid the retainer fee). So she is still calling all the shots. Denying  

visitation still. We asked for Supervised visitation at our house, 1st she said ok for 4 hours on a Saturday. Then she backed out stating that my husband and my self are "unsuitable" for supervised visits. What does that even mean? Sorry for the long rant, but I am extremely upset over being told I'm unsuitable. Why does she get to say who can do what, and why can't my son se his son?

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Your son has no rights unless and until (1) his paternity of the child is established, and (2) if the situation is as you described, a court orders visitation.  Your paying the attorney's fee does not entitle you to any information unless your son agrees and instructs the attorney to discuss the case with you.

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13 hours ago, KellyCJ said:

Why does she get to say who can do what, and why can't my son se his son?

 

Because that's how the law is structured.  When a child is born to an unmarried woman, no man has any enforceable parental rights regarding the child until such time as paternity is established and a court enters an order allocating parental rights between the parents.  Why is that the case?  Because human reproduction is such that there's never any doubt about who the mother is, but there's no way for anyone other than the mother to know who the father is and, depending on the extent of the mother's promiscuity, even she might not know.  When the mother is married and living with her husband, the law presumes the husband to be the father, but no such presumption exists with unmarried women.

 

Your son should be speaking with his lawyer about obtaining some sort of interim visitation order.

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I understand how the parental rights all work. He had the paternity test done, he's the father. He obtained a lawyer, court dates have been set, he has been asking for a temp visitation, she said no, he asked for a supervised visitation, she said no. that's when she said my husband and I are "unsuitable" to supervise. So my son has filled out paperwork for a facility that does such supervised visits ($30.00 per hour). Now, he has to wait for her to fill out same paperwork, then an orientation date will be set, then schedule a date for visit. This facility is 2-6 weeks waiting.

The law says decisions are made to determine what is best for the child. I'm only asking "does this seem like it's best for a 2 year old to be taken away from a routine he was in, and go to a strange place, sit in a room with a stranger while he see's his dad again for the first time in months? This just seems like it would be very uncomfortable for both parties.

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Your original question was "[w]hy does she get to say who can do what," etc.  The answer is as I previously explained.  You now seem to be asking for a subjective evaluation of your son's case based on limited information.  No one on an internet message board is in any position to do that because we only have input from one (understandably) biased person and no input from anyone on the other side of the situation.

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Your answer was that is how the law is structured. I know this is a one sided why, why, why from one view, I am a firm believer that there are 2 sides to every story. I put my son's story out here hoping to find other people who may have gone through this sort of issue. I can change this to be about me. I haven't seen my grandson in month's. Why can't I be a grandma? Why am I unsuitable to watch him? I get it, these are all questions that only she can answer. But she cant be the first person to keep a child away from other family members because she feels like it.

 

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You said a paternity test was done.  Was it court ordered or were the results submitted to the court with a petition for visitation and was that petition granted?  Until both are done, and a court order issued,the mother gets to set all the guidelines.

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 I wasn't looking for any "legal" help. And nothing has been court ordered yet. Just trying to see if anyone else has dealt with this situation.

My son filed the court docs and started the process, he has a lawyer, the court dates are set.  Thanks for all your responses

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10 minutes ago, KellyCJ said:

I wasn't looking for any "legal" help. . . . Just trying to see if anyone else has dealt with this situation.

 

Ok.  That's not what these boards are for.

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