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belladaisy2018

A little question about visitation rights

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Hello,

My ex-girlfriend ("Jane") and I had a child together last year; the baby is now 20 months old. Just recently (10/16/2012) Jane and I decided to call it quits because it really wasn't working out between us. As of today, Jane is making it really hard for me to be able to see my baby. There is no custody agreement but my name appears in the baby's birth certificate.

When I left the house, I took the baby's SSN because Jane is a "travel risk" and I'm sure she would try to make it impossible for me to see the baby. She is now demanding that I give her the SSN. Must I comply with this request? Also, I wanted to know what I should do in order to establish visitation rights. Is this something I could do by myself or would it be better to hire an attorney. Even though I could give this baby a better life, I really don't want to fight for custody. She could very well hold custody of the baby but I would like some formal order as to when I can pick up my baby, what weekends I can spend with the baby, and what holidays I can be with her.

This is not something that can be decided between Jane and I; so I know that mediation must occur. I just don't know how to get all of this started and was hoping someone could assisnt me.

Also if it helps any, Jane and I are both residents of Charlotte, NC.

Thank you in advance for any help you can offer.

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In North Carolina as in every other state, when a child is born out of wedlock the mother is the only legally acknowledged parent and the father has no parental rights whatsoever until he establishes his paternity (his name on the birth certificate is not by itself proof of paternity) and there is a court order in place that specifies his parental rights and obligations.  This includes his right of reasonable visitation and his obligation to pay child support to the mother in accordance with guidelines established by the state.

 

You have no legal right to withhold the child's Social Security documentation from the mother.  I strongly recommend you give it to her now, then consult with a local family law attorney ASAP to learn how to establish your paternity (DNA testing may or may not be required) and obtain a formal, enforceable custody and support order ("parenting plan") from the court that specifies both your and the mother's rights of legal and physical custody and child support.  This plan will remain in effect, with reasonable modifications as circumstances require, until the child becomes an adult.

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11 hours ago, belladaisy2018 said:

My ex-girlfriend ("Jane") and I had a child together last year; the baby is now 20 months old. Just recently (10/16/2012) Jane and I decided to call it quits

 

Ummm..."10/16/2012" was five and a half years ago.  Hardly "recently."

 

 

11 hours ago, belladaisy2018 said:

When I left the house, I took the baby's SSN

 

How could you take "the baby's SSN"?  Did you mean you took the baby's social security card?

 

 

11 hours ago, belladaisy2018 said:

Must I comply with this request?

 

No.  Note that I don't really disagree with what's written in the prior response about this, but I also don't believe any legally enforceable obligation exists to return the card.  Of course, I'm also at a loss to understand what benefit you think you will realize (vis-a-vis travel or otherwise) as a result of holding the card hostage.

 

 

11 hours ago, belladaisy2018 said:

Also, I wanted to know what I should do in order to establish visitation rights.

 

File with the appropriate local court for visitation.  The sooner the better.

 

 

11 hours ago, belladaisy2018 said:

Is this something I could do by myself or would it be better to hire an attorney.

 

I have no idea if you have the ability to do this yourself, but you'd certainly be better off with an attorney representing you.

 

 

11 hours ago, belladaisy2018 said:

This is not something that can be decided between Jane and I; so I know that mediation must occur.

 

Mediation is merely a mechanism by which, if successful, the parties will come to some mutual agreement about the issues in dispute.  If you don't believe that you and Jane can come to a mutual agreement, the mediation would be a waste of time (although the court might order it anyway).  Of course, the inability to come to mutual agreement about issues relating to your child doesn't bode well for the next 16+ years until the child reaches adulthood.

 

 

11 hours ago, belladaisy2018 said:

I just don't know how to get all of this started and was hoping someone could assisnt me.

 

There's a "find a lawyer" link prominently displayed at the top of every page at this site.  I suggest you call a few local family law attorneys and set up at least a couple consultations and then hire the one with whom you feel the most comfortable.

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4 hours ago, pg1067 said:

I'm also at a loss to understand what benefit you think you will realize (vis-a-vis travel or otherwise) as a result of holding the card hostage.

 

Especially since Jane can go to the SSA office and get a duplicate.

 

 

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