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dsfrankl

How to prevent child support

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My boyfriend has two daughters 3 & 5. He and their mother have a personal agreement as to the custody/visitation schedule as well as supporting the kids financially. Now, because the mother receives social services, the county is taking my boyfriend for child support. The two already have a personal agreement for financially supporting the children. Their mother is very against the child support as well. My boyfriend has a high income but a lot of bills and credit card debt so we fear that paying child support will bankrupt him. The kids are already well cared for and happy and healthy. Their mother has no income aside from her social services so my boyfriend buys them everything from diapers to food to clothes. CS would cost so much more than what we actually spend (and what is needed for the children) that he wouldn't be able to afford it.

 

Their mother wants us to write up a letter stating that we provide for the children without CS and don't think it's necessary. My boyfriend asked me to do it as I'm a better writer, but I'm lost as I've never written a legal letter for CS. How do I go about writing this? I'm just not sure of a good way to word everything. 

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You could begin by stating that the mother no longer will request social service funds.  You would probably also ask the mother to sign stating that she does not need TANF, WIC, SNAP, Medicaid, and other services provided to her by the taxpayers.  Until she does that the taxpayers are entitled to ask the father of her children to support his family.

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51 minutes ago, RetiredinVA said:

You could begin by stating that the mother no longer will request social service funds.  You would probably also ask the mother to sign stating that she does not need TANF, WIC, SNAP, Medicaid, and other services provided to her by the taxpayers.  Until she does that the taxpayers are entitled to ask the father of her children to support his family.

She is continuing the use of social services. The father does support his children. He buys them everything they need. Everything. Down to groceries for her house that usually end up feeding her, her boyfriend, and other family members outside of just their children. But when calculating how much he'd pay in CS, it's WAY more than what he's currently spending on them a.k.a WAY more than the children even need. He supports his children in every way they could possibly ever need, but the CS he'd end up paying would be WAY more than that and most of it would just end up in the mother's pocket.

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She's getting Medicaid for herself and housing for her family. That includes her boyfriend, her sister, and her niece. My boyfriend's children have health insurance through him and he buys them every single thing they need. But he's not going to pay for her health insurance or her family's housing so she continues to need those services.

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So he pays the child support to social services and his girlfriend sends the money back to him.  No problem - right?  Child support is supposed to pay fir the children's clothing and groceries but is also supposed to help pay for the children's housing and medical care.

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If she receiving welfare services, child support is assigned to the state and she would only get the amount over what her grant amount is.  If he ends up paying more than he has been, that simply means that he hasn't been paying enough to begin with.  That he thinks he was isn't relevant.  The agreement he thought he had isn't enforceable because it wasn't a court order. 

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Hi @dsfrankl

 

Welcome to the community and thanks for posting! As others have mentioned, this issue arises because the mother receives social services, the government has the right to seek child support as reimbursement. Your boyfriend may want to consult with a good family law attorney to discuss how best to resolve the issue with his ex.

 

Best of luck!

The FindLaw.com Team

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7 hours ago, dsfrankl said:

My boyfriend asked me to do it as I'm a better writer, but I'm lost as I've never written a legal letter for CS. How do I go about writing this?

 

I imagine it will be a waste of time.  Your boyfriend should consult with a local attorney.  He might want to consider seeking a change of custody.

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3 hours ago, LegalwriterOne said:

If she receiving welfare services, child support is assigned to the state and she would only get the amount over what her grant amount is.  If he ends up paying more than he has been, that simply means that he hasn't been paying enough to begin with.  That he thinks he was isn't relevant.  The agreement he thought he had isn't enforceable because it wasn't a court order. 

The kids have everything they need and more so he's definitely paying enough. She flat out said that she didn't want CS because she knew herself and knew she'd use most of it on herself and then still need us to buy them things they need because she blew through the CS. On paper they have 50/50 custody so we never imagined that CS would come into play. It's also in their court order that in the event that she loses her housing their father gets 100% custody. She doesn't want it at all so we just want to see if there's anything we can do to prevent it. She needs medicaid and housing assistance for herself which is why this is happening which doesn't seem fair (which I understand that doesn't matter in a court of law, but trying to see if we can do anything about it).

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If she is receiving public assistance, it isn't up to her whether or not a child support order is sought.  When she gets aid, it's the state's money and they will get an order and they will collect it.  Housing is part of the cost of having kids, along with utilities and food, even gasoline to run them around to/from school and extracurricular functions.  It's not just clothes and toys.

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