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EastinMarie2017

I moved on and NOW he says who i can/can't have around our children!!

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After 4 years of a "bad" relationship, i moved on. Im 2 years into an incredibly happy and now engaged relationship..with a woman. She loves my children I think "more" than me...ok by me tho haha!! Treats them as her own but yet respects their father and kbows her place in our lives. Her family treatsmy boys like their own. I have no doubt that they will grow into great men now! We have the home the schedule the routine the family life that makes me a better person and mother.

Not that "she"(partner) is all to thank, but its the healthly happy way of living life and posotivity she showed me that alone opened a brand new path for me.

He lost all control of me so the kids are the last bit of control he has over me. He tells the boys they are not to be in the car with her, she is not to pick them up from school or attend sporting events. He takes their uniforms or halloween costumes to make sure they go with him. She politely backs out of attending to save fight in front of the boys..who are 5 n 6....it goes on and on.. no couet order or had we ever been married. PLEASE HELP OR AT LEAST SOME WORDS OF WISDOM. Im 26 she is 37. The boys mean the world to her and i see the toll its taking on ALL OF US.

...we never keep the boys from him and she still says how great of a dad he is to the boys, NEVER saying ill hearted things about him. She even buys him things for the boys to give him..ie. fav team hat, picture frame n puts their pict. To give.

Trust we are no angels, but evil, hateful, degrading we have NEVER BEEN!

thank you to all out there listing!!

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It doesn't matter if the latest love if your life is Attila the Hun or Pollyanna. The dispute is between you and the father of the children. Were you ever married? If not, was paternity ever established through the court? If not, the kids are only yours legally and what you say goes. That means he only sees them when you say it is alright and you have control over who they are exposed to. He can complain but has zero right to dictate anything. Should he ever file in court to establish paternity or get a custody and support agreement in place, you can negotiate certain terms like holidays and who takes them to sporting events.

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When a child is born to an unmarried woman, no man has any enforceable parental rights until such time as paternity is established and a court enters orders concerning custody, visitation, and support.

 

Your post incidates that you and the father were never married, is silent regarding establishment of paternity, and affirmatively states that there is "no couet [sic] order" and that you never were married.  Therefore, the father has no enforceable legal rights.

 

How you deal with that as a practical matter isn't really possible to say since the father is obviously involved in the kids' lives.  In other words, while the father has no enforceable legal rights here, that doesn't really solve your problem.

 

I would ordinarily suggest that you seek court orders regarding custody, visitation, and support.  However, given where you live, that could backfire since Alabama is hardly a progressive state, and it wouldn't shock me in the slightest if an Alabama court entered an order that prohibits you from exposing your children to your lesbian relationship (notwithstanding that such an order would be unconstitutional and subject to reversal after an expensive appeal).

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We live in Nebraska

 

As the moderator noted, your post is tagged with Alabama, so that's the reason for my prior comments.  Nebraska certainly doesn't have the same national reputation that Alabama has, so it may be that you'll encounter less resistance to the fact that you're in a lesbian relationship (which, while legally irrelevant, certainly exists).  I strongly suggest you consult with a local family law attorney about seeking orders regarding custody, visitation, and support.

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