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Toddlers2love

Pickup information denied: how do I get our kids?

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My ex moved about a month ago and notified me of the move but failed to notify the court for 3 weeks. I am the custodial parent of our 2 toddlers. He had visitation this weekend. When he picked up our kids, he always meets me at my local police station per court order because of his violent past and a restraining order.

When I pick up our kids,he always insists I pick up at his house, which he pushed for in court and was granted, as our order states parent with children may modify pick up location with reasonable written notice.

Now this weekend, upon pickup, he said he would have me pick up at the police station in his town. He was salty because I had kids for trick or treat for 3 hours (per court ordered holiday schedule) which cut into his weekend visit, then was upset he had to drive out to pick them up later. Upon arrival he stated in front of our kids "you're a bitch. Dont come near my ****ing house. You can meet me at the police station."

I asked him 3 times which one (he lives an hour away and there are 2 precincts near his new house) but he refused to answer, and told me to "go **** myself" while placing our 2 year old in a car seat. He peeled out of the drive at the exchange and won't let me talk to our kids on the phone for scheduled court ordered daily phone calls.

I am panicing because I don't know where our kids are or where to get them. He mentioned if I failed to show up he will keep them because I would be giving up my parenting time by no showing (something he's done several times but I've never relinqished a second of my court ordered parenting time), but still would not give me the address to pick them up.

I don't want to keep returning to court but I think the cussing and bitter behavior on his end is becoming increasingly detrimental to both children. They don't want to go, but they are toddlers so it could be a phase. I want them to have time with their dad, but it should be safe and consistent, even with pick ups.

As custodial parent, do I have a right to know where they are on his weekends, as he keeps moving but not notifying court? Is he breaking any kind of law by not telling me where to pick up? Is there anything I can do to help this situation? Can he really keep the kids if I fail to show up at whatever location he picks because I don't know where he'll be, even though I have full custody? Do I notify police or cps as my lawyer has been unable to contact his lawyer?

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As custodial parent, do I have a right to know where they are on his weekends, as he keeps moving but not notifying court?

 

Unless your custody/visitation order says otherwise, no.

 

 

 

Is he breaking any kind of law by not telling me where to pick up?

 

No, but it's obviously illogical and impractical to expect you to pick up the kids without clarity about where that is supposed to occur.

 

 

 

Is there anything I can do to help this situation?

 

You can seek an appropriate modification to the existing order.

 

 

 

Can he really keep the kids if I fail to show up at whatever location he picks because I don't know where he'll be, even though I have full custody?

 

What would you expect him to do other than keep them?  Leave them at the police station?

 

 

 

Do I notify police or cps as my lawyer has been unable to contact his lawyer?

 

Other than the fact that your exchanges occur at police stations, I don't see that this has anything to do with the police or CPS.

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In spite of the sarcastic response above to your question about the ex keeping the children if you don't pick hem up, I believe what you're asking is whether or not he'd have a legal standing to say you abandoned them or something... correct?  The answer is no, but I suppose a judge could believe anything if your ex is willing to lie and mislead the judge about WHY you didn't show up.

 

Personally, I'd start recording every single encounter with this man, be it telephone or in person- providing it's legal in your area.  If you believe your children are unsafe or he won't answer calls you have every right (though i'd use it only in times of real concern) to request the police or cps to do a welfare check on your kids.

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