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ThebugsMom

ex is accusing me of abuse, but searching records I suspect him

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My ex filed a motion in retaliation for me not agreeing to him having our son in a period where I have plans. In the custody agreement it says we both must agree. When I received the papers he accused me of too many doctor visits, my son having black eyes rashes being soiled etc. I went to his peds doc and the ERs got the records... My ex took him about 8x more than I ever did... for head injurioes I was never told about. I am supposed to be told as per the custody agreement. Also he is in repeated for stomach flu and ear infections. I have broached the subject of getting a second opinion about those but was shut down flat by my ex. I also found my ex has told the Dr and the hospitals that he has full custody, that my ex's girlfriend is the mother and that I do not have the right to the records. Fortunatly I am smarter than he is and brought along the court papers stating this. I am afraid my son is not being taken care of properly nor the amount of attention and care from his father is enough. ( ex said my son at 20 months only knows 6 to 10 words. My son knows over 75) We have gotten a lawyer but it iks wiping out our accounts.. ( my ex also wants us to pay for his fees saying I have substanial income .. I do not) he has also lied about income for child support and has told the doctors he has 2 jobs but only reports 1 to child support ( this reason being told to the dr so the doc doesnt question why my ex isnt around all the time) I do not know what to do. I dont know if my ex is abusing my son or neglecting but there are some signs.. night terrors.. my husband picked up a group of straps for a high chair we were putting together and my son started screaming no dadddy.. ( my son calls my husband daddy or dadda too) The things my ex said in the papaers served to me are easily proven false, but I am worried he is hurting my son! What can I do?!

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Simply call Children's Services.  No matter the situation, the child is the important one.  If he is not being abused your ex will realize what the score is.  If he is abusing him then your son might have a chance at a better life.  It's your call.  Show them all the records and tell them this story.  Don't be vindictive.  Let them know you will cooperate in every way.

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Hi thebugsMom,

 

It is certainly alarming to think that your ex may be abusing your child -- and, of course, even worse if your ex is accusing you of he abuse. Adding to what sentinel1900 said, all states have some form of child protective agency that investigates reports of abuse. CPS will document the situation and look into whether injuries/neglect are due to abuse or accident.

 

Family law lawyers are familiar with handling child abuse cases and would be able to recommend the best course of action for you and your child. You mention that you already have an attorney, but feel free to check out some of your local family law attorneys listed in FindLaw's lawyer directory to see if any would be better suited for your financial situation.

 

In the meantime, you can read up more on child abuse -- what it is, your state's specific laws addressing it, and defenses against a claim of child abuse -- in the following FindLaw articles:

Best of luck to you and your family.

 

The FindLaw.com Team

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Rather obviously, if you believe he's hurting or neglecting your kid, you don't stop at merely defending yourself against his accusations but you in fact file a similar motion/action of your own against him.  Given the givens, it's unclear why you didn't file such a motion before you and he had the dispute over a given instance of visitation.  A court might raise an eyebrow if you start bringing up issues that you presumably knew about before his motion but didn't address (night terrors, worries about the father engaging in physical abuse; having the stomach flu and ear infections doesn't automatically = parenting issues).  I trust that you've coughed up relevant paperwork to the different, previously unknown pediatrician and hospitals about what the actual custody arrangement is. 

 

I'd talk with a pediatrician about the notion of it being confusing for a kid to be calling two different men daddy, btw.
 

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