Jump to content
Blu

13 yr old doesnt want to live with her mother anymore what do we do?

Recommended Posts

I believe its 50/50 now but the actual hours are way off

THANKS

I do have papers to file a motion

Would that be what I need

Was hoping to get around the courts but will do if have to

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your posts in this thread are pretty well devoid of facts.  In the subject header, you asked, "what do we do?" but you haven't said who "we" (or you) are.  You wrote that the child "doesnt [sic] want to live with her mother," but you didn't say why; nor did you say whether the father is interested in seeking a change of custody.

 

In any event, if the father wants to seek a change of custody, he's certainly free to file the appropriate papers with the court that entered the divorce decree or custody order, but he would be well-advised to consult with a local family law attorney.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Blu,

 

I agree that more facts would be helpful if you'd like other posters to give you more specific advice. Please feel free to report back with more details in a follow-up post. In the meantime, I suggest you discuss your situation with a family law attorney (you can find one in your area using FindLaw's lawyer directory), and read some general information on child custody. Hope to hear from you soon!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

my problem is I dont want the other half to figure me out on here

 

There are nearly 6 million people in Wisconsin and probably tens of thousands of pending family law actions, and probably 99% of the parties are not looking at these message boards.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:/ OK  

I am her Dads Fiance

Her Dad wants her to be happy as he knows How difficult her mom can be

Her mom has other children there that are always in trouble or fighting There are many rules the that arent really necessary ie  timed Snack time

 Our son who is 16 now can clearly remember when he lived there and how badly he disliked the Mom and she would only let him play with1 toy at a time ( not bat man and the bat mobile ONE OR THE OTHER

 There is so Much to this story I dont even know where to start Hopefully in the next few days wewill be sitting down with the girl and explaning to her that she needs to be aware of what this means  and making sure this is what she wants to happen cuz most likely it wont be easy altho it would be nice if her mom would just do what is right For her girl 

there isnt any physical abuse with the daughter but others in house altho I feel that belittling is a form of emotional abuse as the Mom apparently is always talking bad about us

Her Dad feels he wants to try and get the mom to figure it out WO a laywer and courts ( THAT WOULD BE THE ADULT THING TO DO)

I just dont know where to go first and I really would like to do this without a lawyer cuz well they r expensive

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

/nothing you describe is going to be enough to cause a judge to remove a 13 year old from a parent and custody to the other. You might not see the need for some of the rules but there is nothing harmful about them and they sure aren't abuse. It is just a different parenting style or perhaps what Mom has found works best for reason XYZ. A 13 year old who thinks the grass is greener isn't going to have any say either. Dad can file but do not expect daughter to be uprooted. Mom obviously loves her daughter and wants to keep custody and provide structure and stability. That is hardly the sign of immaturity or working against the child's best interest. Adults make the decision for children, not the other way around.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Her Dad feels he wants to try and get the mom to figure it out WO a laywer and courts ( THAT WOULD BE THE ADULT THING TO DO)

 

That's fine, but he needs to understand that an informal modification of the existing custody order is completely unenforceable and that either party could renege on the informal modification at any time and for any reason.

 

 

 

Um Ya dont judge!! How would I know! pg1067 No need to be RUDE! This site is one of the first ones that came up when I googled Sooooo she isnt STUPID!

 

How would you know what?  and what exactly do you think I posted that was rude?  Get a grip....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Although the child wants to live full-time with us we understand that but that will not happen and that is not what we want to happen we want her to be with us more as her mom has her 720 hours and we have 123 hours

Especially because the living situations there are mentally exhausting I could write a book but personally I don't have time for that and the only thing I needed answered was how to get things started insteadit seems people are just quick to judge on something they don't even have a clue about(which isn't your fault because I don't have time to write down the insanity that goes on there)

All I can say is this woman is a control freak and it has a negative impact on the 13 yr old

Here are some instances I can quickly talk to text recently the mom told the daughter that her dad can't afford and won't try to fight for her

Her mom flat out called her a bitch

Her mom's husband beats the other kids

Her mom threatens us by saying either you need to agree or disagree but get out of the way

Once the daughter wanted to stay to help her dad we're going to TOD car and her mom said that if she didn't come home to watch wrestling they are going to save her spot on the couch

Her mom told me she'll be miserable till she's 18 I guess

My son went to help her stepson fix their truck and the daughter wanted to go say hi to her her brother and her mom said no but finally gave in because the daughter are you do with her that he is her brother

Her moms. Husband told the daughter that her dad didn't want anything to do with her when she was little

When the girl was 11 months old The cops were called because the father gave her corn

The mom tells the daughter that she's not allowed to talk about her dads at her moms

Well that's just the start of it all I know is it's hurting my heart to see this girl go through this BS nonstop yes it might not be physical abuse but it is definitely something emotional

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

IDK pg1076 I thought U were giving me junk for Wis population I must of read it wrong Sorry for that I thought I say SMH How do I know she isnt reading this 

 

 

and I agree with You on informal modifications  Thanks

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Control freak does not equal bad parent. Offenses against other kids by not- the- mom aren't going to be relevant either. To get a modified order, Dad needs proof that there is a reason to make the change. His house being more permissive and a pre-teen who is "miserable" isn't going to cut it. In any state. I work with teens. Most of them are "miserable" and think it is better at someone else's house, especially when they are only at that other house for short periods of time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Control freak does not equal bad parent. Offenses against other kids by not- the- mom aren't going to be relevant either. To get a modified order, Dad needs proof that there is a reason to make the change. His house being more permissive and a pre-teen who is "miserable" isn't going to cut it. In any state. I work with teens. Most of them are "miserable" and think it is better at someone else's house, especially when they are only at that other house for short periods of time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree ellemd but she is so unhappy there

She suffers in school and the mom doesnt enforce strict rules in that area in stead takes her on a shopn spree

I dont understand why it would be so hard for her just to let her come by us more

Her mom is very manipulitve and jealous

And its not far for the daughter to lock herself in her room to avoid everyone in her moms family and definately not fair she has to listen to her mom and stepdad to throw daggers at us any chance they can

I feel it shouldnt be hard to ask for more time and the only hiccup would be her mom loding the control

We have ALWAYS done as she wished

Mom once told her to pack her bag so she can go Live at her dads she stayed two days at our house and then when it came time to switch visitation she refused to bring her back which I understand is finebecause of the"informal modification" but the childish games are definitely sickening and harmful

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We also have explained to her that it's not gonna be all peaches and cream here and that we do have a rulesand she definitely won't be spoiled like she is at her moms she still doesn't seem to care and want to be here

And I get the part where all the teen want to be where the grass is greener

At what point do you draw the line after years and years of manipulating and verbal abuse

I don't believe it's warranted and no mother should talk that way to their child and in divorces aren't they always taught not to talk bad about the other parent

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can try it but you do need to be aware that judges are very reluctant to remove a child from a parent or disrupt a prior order absence agreement from all parties (not the kid) or extremely compelling reasons to make the change. A strict parent is not a reason.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

×
×
  • Create New...