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Busillis

Mutual Protective Order(s), and Custody

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Hi all, 

The mother of my child, and I have mutual protective orders. No actual criminal charges were ever filed, but the commissioner agreed that we shouldn't have contact. We later went to mediation, and in mediation agreed to drop the protective order(s). This was never actually done in the court. We went about our lives as though they were dropped. Longer story short, I called the police because I found drug paraphernalia in her apartment. The offer who showed up was a friend of hers, and refused to really investigate my complaint. (I only called because of her reaction & to get a report of what I found). After the officer refused to excuse himself (per my request), I tried to film him & was very rude to him. Yep, I ended up in jail for Obstruction of Justice. When we got to jail, he found the protective order, and I was booked for that as well. Now, these charges were dropped, but I did spend some time in jail (33 days). Oh, just prior to this I got a DWI, and court actually happened(found guilty) while I was awaiting trial. 

After all charges were dropped (this included an additional protective order, which included my son), I attempted to see my son, via the approved method in the original mutual protective order. She refused to let me see my son, and continues to refuse to allow me to see my son. She/her lawyer, requested that I prove that I'm "clean" via a hair folicle test. I took, and "passed", the test. I responded by requesting a hair test from her. (still waiting for that). Because of the DWI, I'm doing random UA's, group counseling, and Prime for Life. 

My assumption is that she is using "fear of sobriety" as her reason to keep him from me, while the actual reason is spite. I assume that I need to file the order to show cause for a contempt of court ____. 

Questions:
1. How do I actually file all of this?
2. Will you please ask me questions/come at me, as though you were her lawyer, so I can be prepared?
3. Because I'm fresh out of jail, I don't have a job so I have to do this all DIY. Any suggestions on litigation to just get in front of a judge? 

 

Edited by Findlaw_JN
Edited to remove personal or identifying information. - Moderator

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I'd start with this principle:  Never assume anything without

double-checking Court Records.

 

You and her should both be involved with separate substance abuse therapy.  You should also explore other 

therapy options with a clinical psychologist/LCSW

concerning your overall behavioral tendencies.

 

Learn to behave like a responsible adult.  It isn't clear

whether your driver's license was suspended because

of the DUI conviction but that complicates your

situation. 

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Indubitably. 

 I'm there. I'm doing the therapy thing. We've offered to pay for her to go back to therapy. She has refused. 
DCFS is a bust, for help. They need more evidence. Mediation was offered, but rejected. I'm trying to be reasonable, and am being blocked at every avenue. I would like to just file the appropriate things with the court, and try to get us both on the "right track". 

I sold my car, and bought a bus pass. 
How would the license come into play? 

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Some states have a provision that if a vehicle operator

has a DUI convicton, then his/her vehicle operator's license

is automatically suspended for a time period such as 90

days to one year depending on the Prosecutor's recom-

mendation, the Judge's sentence and applicable state law.

 

Someone who is, for example, a truck driver or ambulance

driver will likely lose his/her job with a DUI convicion, as

most employers do not tolerate employees with that.

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Agreed, explorer13. 

Finding a job is a painful task, for me. However, me having a DWI shouldn't play into the custody aspect, should it? It is suspended, but I could go and pay the fee to get it back, now. I just don't want to pay for the insurance. I see many children on the bus... their parent's aren't unfit. 

Given the mutual problems with myself & the mother, I'm wondering what the play should be, for me. I mean, we had an awful relationship. She has attacked me, on multiple occasions. She admitted to our old relationship counselor that she was the aggressor, in our relationship. I'm doing my best to work through any/all problems of my own, but I'd really like to know how someone who was caught with a needle in their arm, can claim not to be a junkie. lol

Still wondering how to go about filing for contempt of court, and what information I should be gathering(via any suggestions on what you would defend her with). 

Any vague legal ideas, or just common sense "roasting"? 

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Someone other than you will need to pick-up and drop off

(Exchange) the children, for you at a neutral site. Maybe,

your parents or siblings would be willing to voluntarily do that.

 

You need to go back to Court to attempt to accomplish

that through a Court Hearing.

 

I'm usually not an advocate for exchanging the child(ren)

in the parking lot outside the jail/police station.

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It is so sad when two people procreate but then act like the two of you have. I mean all of it. The substance abuse, DWI, inability to act in the child's best interest, treat other human being with civility. Yes, a DWI can affect your custody. Why shouldn't it? You broke the law and proved you are not capable of making good decisions. What is to stop you from drinking and driving with the kid in a car?

 

Stop playing games. Follow the letter of the current agreement to the letter. Stay in therapy. Quit drinking and seek employment. Be a decent parent to your kid. Treat the other parent with respect and don't go looking for ways to get them in trouble. you are only hurting your kid. your kid only gets one childhood and deserves so much better than two drug addicted parents at one another's throats.

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Hi there,

 

Are you asking what needs to be filed to enforce a custody order? That would probably be a Motion to Enforce Domestic Order (Order to Show Cause) with the court (you can find more information on that through the Utah State Courts website). However, given everything that's going on (the DUI, the protective orders, etc.) in your situation, I'd strongly suggest that you consult with a local family law attorney to discuss how these issues are going to affect your custody. You can find qualified family law attorneys in your area by using FindLaw's lawyer directory. Good luck.

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