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diva81370

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My husband is currently stationed in a reserve unit in Korea and works as a civilian contractor. He left in Jan of this year and the the last I heard from him was Feb. I don't have any information on him as to how to contact him. The military can't seem to locate him at all. And I recently found he has a secret Facebook page and has a girlfriend...what steps can I do to get out of this marriage?

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And what purpose would having the car "impounded" serve? And what do you mean by "impounded?" The municipality or police ordering towing? On what grounds? Hiring a private towing company to remove the car, store it and possibly sell it at auction for lack of payment of towing and storage fees?

 

Regardless, yes you could be held resposnsible for any damages that result from having the vehicle removed from "your" house (presuming the house isn't marital property). Although I gather that judges who handle divorce proceeding are confronted by pettiness and vindictive actions on a daily basis, do you really want to give up the moral high road? 

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Wow...first of all it's my house. My parents gave it to me and his name is not on anything other than the car which is on my property. And second care to explain how I am being "vindictive"? You have no useful information...

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You don't think having his vehicle towed away while he is working overseas is vindictive? Seriously? That is pretty much the very definition of vindictive. It is not looked upon favorably by judges. Yes, you could be liable for purposely damaging his property if that happens.

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You guys did not read my first post...so to stop you from sounding even more silly I will repeat it. He's overseas cheating on me right now....As in right now. I have proof so don't even think to say I'm making it up. I'm here at home working and keeping things going and he's over there blowing money on some girl and cheating on me. How dare you tell me I'm being vindictive! How dare you! I stood by that poor excuse for years! Through some really tough times and he goes overseas and pulls this crap on me! He'll be lucky if towing the car away is all I do to it! So before you post your snooty responses...read everything because your post are making you sound really unintelligent. Again I will repeat this in case someone forgets...i have proof.

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You didn't provide what state you are in but regardless of his infidelity, he has an equal right of access to the marital home and destroying or otherwise disposing of his property from that home will reap repercussions when you do file for divorce. 

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And right now you are the one looking foolish.  The fact that he is cheating does not mean you get to act with impunity and violate his rights to his property. Two wrongs not making a right and all that. He doesn't just retain his right to his car and the marital home as long as he is faithful. That isn't the way the law works. If you have proof he is cheating that should help you obtain a divorce, but that is about it. It does not mean you can tow away his car without any consequence.

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Again you did not read earlier post. I did say what state I'm in...and not to worry....i spoke with a lawyer and since my property was given directly to me he has no right to it and I can have his property removed when I give him a notice. So thank you for all your useless help...go pester someone else

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diva, as for the "... stop.  Just stop", please note that you didn't have to come back after 2:11p, and at any rate I'm afraid a poster isn't in a position to dictate that someone not comment on their post (feel free to request, however).  No one was "pester[ing]" you. 
 

"I don't have any information on him as to how to contact him."

Then how would you know he's cheating on you right now at this moment?  Treat as rhetorical.

 

While I find dubious the claim that you talked with a lawyer between (12:55p and your last post at 2:11p) who was willing to opine about the topic of a gift you assert parents gave to you being outside of the marital pot -- and it's true that OK is not a "kitchen sink" state where everything, gift or not, is up for debate in a divorce -- please note that even if your parents "gave" you the house before you got married outright/100%/no mortgage, that doesn't put a full stop to his ability to pursue $$$ as it relates to the property.  For instance, any increase in value during the marriage or return on $$ invested in the place (with job income during marriage) to either make payments on it or make improvements, etc.

 

And even assuming for sake of argument lawyer were correct that you're free to treat him as a legal stranger who's abandoned property at your place and have his car towed from what was presumably the marital residence -- all without having to worry about that coming back to bite you in terms of a $$$ judgment in the divorce (say, he couldn't get it out of the tow place due to passage of time making what he owed impossible to pay) -- you've already declared you cannot find him even as it relates to service of process on a divorce, so it's unclear to what valid address you'd send the notice that the lawyer suggested. 

 

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The posting name says it all. Makes no difference to any of us what you do or what happens to the car or property. Feel free to ignore if you like but you did come to us to ask for advice. If you just want someone to bash your hubby, pat you on the head and tell you to do whatever you want, don't post on a legal site.

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My apology for overlooking the Facebook page reference (I was more caught up in the latter posts).  On that topic, I'd caution against any use of Facebook to give the suggested but dubious "notice" about the car (that wouldn't work even if you were in a position to treat this the same as a legal stranger having abandoned property at your place).  Were I you, however, I'd feel free to send a private message to that account and (if you intend to do as you suggest regardless) advise that if he wants his car, he might wanna send someone to retrieve it before X date.

Circling back to the fact that he's a civilian contractor (regardless of where he's assigned to work), it's his actual (or former?) employer I'd contact about address if he provided one (unless the unsaid is that he's a sole proprietor independent contractor, which seems less than likely). 

I haven't seen anything here someone may objectively refer to as "attack"; it's best to remove the emotional goggles through which things are filtered.  You've received matter-of-fact critical(v. squishy, supportive) feedback and someone's personal observation that having someone's property impounded is "vindictive".  We can't know how high a store he places on the car; I'd merely categorize it as petty, and possibly counterproductive.  I'd use the energy to interview divorce attorneys and then hiring one.

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Ellemd...Please tell me where on here did I imply I wanted to bash my husband? All I asked was about the car. You took it to a whole other level. You did attack and anyone who would read your comments would most likely agree. But I can tell you're probably the type of person who can never be wrong...so whatever. Ok fallen I will take that into consideration. But I guess what I don't understand is the unhelpful banter. All I asked was if would someone think if I were to remove his car from my house. And I get called petty and vindictive. I don't need the rudeness. And there was attacking....all.you have to do is re read the post on here. I came on here for some advice from people who been there done that.

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I would read your post of yesterday from 12:55p, which can be interpreted as you "bash[ing]" the husband.  (I hope you don't misunderstand the term "bashing" to mean an actual, physical act, given you asking where you "impl[ied]" that you wanted to bash him.)  I don't think Elle's initial response that the notion of having his property taken away made you look foolish was an "attack".

 

What feedback you subjectively consider "unhelpful" doesn't mean it wasn't in effect invited by the content of the comments.  At this point, it's unclear why you keep revisiting the thread.

 

"All I asked was if would someone think if I were to remove his car from my house."

Actually, the follow-up question was "will I get in hot water if I want it impounded?"

To be sure, we cannot know what WILL happen, but you were told that it could backfire.  Depends on how you define "hot water", I suppose.

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diva81370, I'll remind you, per the community guidelines, to keep your comments respectful and to refrain from insulting or disparaging other members.

 

One can sympathize that this is a difficult time in your life, and as such, you may be sensitive to certain types of comments. That said, it doesn't appear that anyone was attacking you so much as trying to educate you as to the possible consequences of your proposed actions and how those actions could be perceived by those who matter (ex: Judge presiding over your divorce proceedings).

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