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motion to suspend visitation

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Do you “OWN” this board? Can you kick me out? 

My existence on this board was the same as madmom....googled a custody question for my daughter...this thread came up. 

l Moved on, continued to see your responses on several threads, that were NOT 9 years old.

just felt compelled to ask you why the hatefulness.

wasnt meaning to start a problem, just thought maybe you didn’t realize how your responses come off to people who are in distress and looking for help.

i guess you did know, and there’s no way, no how, you’re going to see things a different way.

not sure it will matter to you, but...

my work is to help people in all different situations and walks of life...has taught me a lot.

my life.... have needed help/information, and received it both ways...nicely and hatefully. 

My spouse was fighting cancer. Of all places the Cancer Society chat board had a “helper” very similar to you.

In a time that I needed help and turned to strangers who had gone through cancer, I was devastated by this persons response and left the board with no answers, feeling even more alone and scared and confused.

received a notification of responses, and someone basically asked him what I originally asked you.

HE owned up to has mistake, apologized and explained how his situation had gone downhill...

HE received support from the group/board, and ended up helping me more than anyone.

just thought maybe you didn’t realize...and that you probably have a situation in your story, and if you could get past the snarky remarks, you probably have a lot to offer.

maybe I was wrong

Hopefully I’m not



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If you have a complaint about another poster you have a few options. 1. Report it to the moderators and let them handle it as they see fit. 2. If it was an issue with how a poster directed a response directly to you, send them a private message and discuss it like an adult. 3. Shrug it off and move on. Posting on long dormant threads to complain about what happened on other boards or in posts other than your own is not acceptable. Neither is assuming that every poster interprets the tone the way you do or that other posters are turned off by the way information was shared is also inappropriate. If those posters take issue with what was shared with them, they can follow one of the 3 steps above but it is awfully presumptuous for you to intercede on their behalf to complain about something which they themselves did not complain about or which they handled in a manner they were comfortable with.

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13 minutes ago, ElleMD said:

....but it is awfully presumptuous for you to intercede on their behalf to complain about something which they themselves did not complain about or which they handled in amanner they were comfortable with.


if you count, I think 8 posts down, the OP states..

On 3/26/2010 at 7:47 AM, sandals4us said:

i have learned this wed site is not here to help but only judge people! It needs to be removed! False advertisement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


So, I don’t think I was presuming anything by thinking the OP felt unhelped.

i did not have a complaint about anyone, I was hoping to be helpful, as I described I was helped in a similar situation.

i was not the person that originally brought this thread back to life, but did notice some harshness in other, more recent threads, so thought I would support madmom, ( obviously the smart one in this situation because she has moved on ;) ) as I felt she was very civilized in her attempt to also point out the harshness that’s happening.

my daughters situation ended up being a non issue....thank goodness. But, I would probably never recommend this board to patients who are searching for legal answers, not with the way ive seen questioners treated. And that’s a shame, because I’m sure there are many people who are here only to help. You know the saying...one bad apple...

i purposely was never disrespectful, mean, or angry like the person I’ve been talking to.

if you think the things he or she quips back with are productive in helping people and I, and others, are reading it wrong....well...I respectfully disagree.

i never intended this to go on so long, I should have given up, sometimes people don’t care if someone wants to help them see things a different way. Point being, I probably should have DM’d or started a new thread. Lesson learned, but not needed.

my effort and time is needed in real life, giving hugs, pats on backs, high fives and happy tears is what helping people is all about....not squabbling with premium and gold posters about rules and time limits on posting, while ignoring people who are hurting and reaching out to you for comfort in the way of experience and advice.




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