pg1067, I am very sorry about the grammatical mess. I was at work trying to give a quick run down on what went on. Proper English was not my best subject anytime while in school. I apologize.
ElleMD , Kind of abuse- for the last 2 - 21/2 yrs the cook I was working with has verbally abused me(waitress) or our dishwasher almost every shift. Its like he has to go off on one of us before the shift is over. But the last year or so he has gotten increasing worse to me. This is a VFW Post that I have worked or volunteered for the last 10 yrs as their waitress. I'm thinking it may be because I have had his ex girlfriend help me with some side cleaning jobs. And at first when her & I worked, when I come in he would ask me stuff about what we did. And he really wanted to get her back. So I kinda tried to give him some advice on how and how not to talk to her. But when wouldn't do try it, he would start texing here a bunch of crap. Basically the same verbal abuse he did to her before and was doing to us in the kitchen. So I got to where when he would ask, Id tell him I didn't know anything. Id tell him we didn't hang out after we were done so I couldn't tell him. Then when we were hanging out an if he saw us and ask, I told him that her & I had decided that he was not a subject we discussed when her & I were together at side job or personal time. So when I wouldn't tell him what he wanted to know, he would start getting mean an nasty to me. Putting me down. Being a bully big time. And for the most part, I would ignore him. There were some days. I couldn't after awhile tho. Calling me names, telling me that I was lazy, worthless, stupid, piece of ****. At one point he even called me a cunt. I was working 3 jobs. How am I lazy. I've been verbally & mentally abused by an ex husband. That took its toll on me then. So when I finally had enough, I went to the boss in charge. Told her id had enough and would she please tell him to knock it off. She said shed talk to him. Well a couple of times he stop for a couple of weeks. Then one of us would set him off for some stupid reason. It would start up again on one of use. He had even gone off on the boss. I asked her about it & she said she just ignored him. I tried. I tried. Id go to the boss during our shift and tell her that I was done with his **** and she needed to do something. Shed go in the kitchen and say "Everything ok in here" ? Id complain to members. Hell they could here him most of the time. unless he was trying to be slimy and make sure he wasn't heard. I work for tips for the most part. Depending on how busy wed be. Once in awhile I would get paid 10 bucks or so. He was paid & dishwasher was paid. In the post there was probably 4-5 bartenders and 3 of us in the kitchen. Then the boss/manager. The final straw was on the 1st Sun in March, when I came in to set my toaster stuff up and set my tables up, while getting a bowl to put in microwave to heat biscuits in, him and I almost collided. He was going to get ice out of ice machine and me going to the microwave. I stopped, he turns around and has this nasty face on his face & says REALLY, your going to go there right now. Told him I was just going to put the bowl in micro. He pops off with RIGHT NOW. I went to set the bowl down & go out to set up tables. As I was walking away he tells me "You want me to make you cry before you leave today"? I just thought , wow this is new. Then I told him to take his best shot and went out of the kitchen. I knew then it was going to be a day of hell. And as much as I tried to avoid him an write my tickets perfect for him. he ended up shorting me 2 plates on a 4 plate order. I took 2 plates out and when I came back in he wasn't doing anything to fix the other 2 plates. So I asked him nicely if he was going to fix the other 2 plates for that table. He turns around & said he did. Told him no he had just given me the 2 garbage can omelets. He gets pissy and wants the ticket for the order an looks at it, and just say oh an throw the ticket at me. I told him no big deal. Ill just go tell customers they be out in a few. He always LOVED to make a big deal when ever I screwed up. I mean blow it up like it was a 5 star restaurant. As the morning went on, I tried not to piss him off. We serve from 9am to 12 pm. I run my ass off during this time. So when I took the last plate of the day out to the last customer, I told the dishwasher I was going out to smoke a cig. Well I smoke 11/2 an came back in. Went into dining area and started to get my coffee pot so that I could take it in the kitchen to empty and get it to dish washer. well as I'm loading it on the cart, he yells thru the serving window, "Are you ever going to do anything today"? I told him I was and what I was doing. then he pops off with something about coming in to clean up my toaster stuff so he could sweep & mop and get the hell outa there. Meaning leave the post. So when I went back in the kitchen and was almost done with toast clean up he again says "You want me to make you cry before you go home"? By then I had had it, turned around & told him to take his best shot. I had heard from his ex how he would get pissed at her before she went to work and have her in tears before she got to her work. And I probably should of gone told the boss. But after going and telling her so many times before & NOTHING being done, just got tired of being a tattle tale. So when he started telling me how lazy I was & what a piece of **** & worthless. Well I started slinging it right back at him. See how he likes it. Telling him that this was why he was single still & why his ex didn't want NOTHING to do with him and he even killed his dog.
His dog had got pregnant & had to many puppys and the day after she delivered he had told us at work that there was still this green fowl smelling stuff discharging from her. I told him that wasn't normal an that he needed to get her to a vet. Well 2 weeks later he texs me and tells me he thinks shes dieing. I suggested a couple of things to him. But stressed that he needed to get her somewhere before it was to late. If not already. Well he gets her to a vet. It was to late & he had to put her down.
He tells me not to talk about his dog. Then throws a wadded up paper towel at me. Told him he wasn't going to tell me what I can or cant talk about. The next thing I know he hit me in the neck with a wet terry cloth towel. I never saw it coming. The dish washer go running out screaming for the boss and she runs in yelling at us, "Both of you out of the kitchen". I go out in the dining area but can still see him as he takes off his apron and says hes outa here. That they can keep his wages. The boss tells him no that he can come back later. I was so upset I was shaking. told dishwasher I was going out to smoke and calm down. When I was done I came in. As I came in I asked the dishwasher, "You saw that right?" She didn't answer me. So I asked again. She tells me yes but that she really wasn't paying attention to what was being said prior.. I finish my clean up and help her put her dishes away. I go out to the bar and sit so I can get my shifter tab & I think I got paid 5 bucks. Cant remember. As I'm sitting at the bar, boss comes out of her office. Get the dishwasher and takes her into her office and shuts the door. Soon dishwasher comes out, goes back into kitchen and continue clean out her sinks. Boss come out of her office. Doesn't even look at me let alone come an ask me if I was ok or my side of the story. I'm just shaking my head in disbelief. Then one of the members that had just walked in ask how my sun was going. I just answered him with, "Well not towel". There was a snowbird that had come in and set a chair away from me. She proceed to ask me why, what's going on. Before I say anything I ask her if there is a red mark on my neck and show her. She says yes there is. So I start telling her what had happened. I was so pissed by then at bosses non action, that I got up and left. the more I thought about it I decided to call the cops and file a report. Well cops were busy with other more important calls. So when the cop calls me I tell him what happened but that I just want a report filed.. Cop tells me that its an arrest able offence. I still say no. Cause I'm thinking about the Post and possibly not having a cook.
Later on I'm thinking about all this that had gone down and decided to screw that, I was going to have him file charges against him. Well I talked to the cop the next day , that id changed my mind and wanted to file. He said he wouldn't go arrest him then cuz it had been the next day arrest or not I wanted to pursue the charged. So County Attorneys have the police report. I have called them to tell them that the police report is not accurate and that wanted to press charges. Haven't heard anything from them yet . So I guess Ill be calling them again tomorrow. I even went to one of the house committee members and let him know. So many people have seen or heard when he gets on his bully rants.
Now I'm being punished for him assaulting me. He refuses to work with me. Why she cant control him or his mouth. Cuz she needs a cook to bad and is afraid hell quit. So now I cant work Fri or Suns. She tells me this on the Mon after all this happened and after my shift. I went off and told her " HE ****ING ASSAULTED ME AND YOUR GOING TO PUNISH ME! He's been verbally abusing us back and nothings done. She tells me that she told me before to let her know so she could document it. I screamed at her, "YOU DONT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT ANYWAYS, Said that's ****ed up. That's when she tells me that its easier to replace a waitress then a cook. Tell her that's ****ed up again, got my purse and left. So pissed.
So I go in and work Mon. Only when I go to go to work on Mon 4/23/18. She out back where we go into the kitchen, waiting for me. I knew she was waiting for me. Tells me she has this letter for me, hands it to me. I turn to go in the door and tells me there is no reason to go inside. I left.
We had taken a class on all this work harassment. I was told that if the person in charge didn't handle this thru the work place correctly, that they cold be personally liable. Is this true. I'm not the only one she has let other get away with the verbal abuse to. There was a bartender to. Only different. And I know this a club. But the law is the law, correct? It doesn't matter where it happens, if its against the law. Tell me that TITLE 9 is for everyone and place. Sorry, have no idea what I did to make it slant. Its late LATE. Going to bed. Hope this makes since. Cause I'm to tired to proof read it right now. let me know if you need something explained more.