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befuddled86 last won the day on May 3 2017

befuddled86 had the most liked content!

About befuddled86

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  1. Ladies and gentlemen- Here we are some time later, and I see that this topic is still stirring negativity. I am, as I was in the beginning, so sorry for anyone in a similar predicament. I am pleased (though COMPLETELY unsurprised) to report that, as suspected after this dragged on for as long as it had, we had a lawyer acting with basic impunity in his defense of his client- that client being one of the fathers in question. We found it very odd indeed that despite his client not showing in person OR calling in for our court dates, the lawyer was still entering status reports and pleas on his behalf.. especially when the social workers on our case had not been able to establish contact in months. The judge, finally becoming fed up with the situation, demanded that he show up for the next hearing (or at least call in to contribute his own status update.) When he did not, we were made aware that his own lawyer had not had any contact with him in months- which as I understand it, is technically not "illegal"... but it was a move clearly unappreciated by the judge, as we have officially been allowed to move forward with custody. The other father has left the state and fallen off the map. While part of me would love to jump and cheer, a deeper part is very sad for our kids, and truly wishes it could have ended with two greatly reformed men stepping up and proving us all horribly wrong- if only because it may have been better for the kids psychologically to know they gave a damn. I along with the social workers involved am horrified with how long this has been allowed to drag on as the result of a lack of oversight on ragards to the lawyers. All I can possibly say to anyone still dealing with this is be patient as best you can. DO NOT strike back, no matter how much you may want to. Let your actions be your defense- show up to every hearing. Have every task completed prior to your deadline. Just be present- and allow the people working against you, whoever they may be, space to let their true colors shine through (good or bad..) Be aware of not hyper aware of the lawyers involved, because as we have seen, many are only interested in money and could care less for your families. Not all, some have been absolutely lovely people. Trust your gut. My heart goes out to you all. Keep writing letters to your local reps, keep fighting to change anything you feel in your heart is unfair. Eventually perseverance matters. Hang jn there.
  2. I'm so sorry. For all of it. My parents don't deserve it and neither did you. Your granddaughter will grow up knowing how hard you fought for her- that there was SOMEONE in her life she mattered enough to to do it. That means a lot. Best of luck to you as well.
  3. You misunderstood me, I meant that I had been defensive in response to you, not the other way around. And whom my sister chose to procreate with may not have been my first choice- however- that is not the point. The point is that a system phy in place to protect children is more interested in guarding the rights of the sperm donor to a child they have had no involvement with than protecting the child from a lifetime of abuse and insecurity. Biology alone does not a parent make. This is the manner in which I feel the rules need to be re examined and altered. Every situation is different- I can appreciate that. However I feel the law does not do enough to allow for that. The burden of proof falls on the people (my parents and myself) who have been supporting the children all along- meanwhile the fathers do (or fail to do) whatever they please without ANY consequences for blatantly ignoring court appointed duties, all with the best legal rep the states money can buy. We have given these men a year to prove they are capable of reform, and believe me would be more than happy for the help and to resume our normal roles in these kids lives- but those are not the cards we were dealt here. Guardian ad litem has said IN COURT that they are disgusted by the way it's being handled. I just want to know how long they are entitled to torture us and keep us trapped in limbo before they are forced to make a decision? How long are they allowed to drag out the inevitable?
  4. I apologize. It wasn't necessary to get so defensive about it. I am grasping at straws in an attempt to help the situation, I'm sorry if I broke the rules. Seeing people's stories here has lit a fire under me I suppose- my sister was murdered a year ago, and we have been fighting against absentee fathers for custody since- we are being examined like we are a specimen in a Petri dish (despite crossing every T and dotting every I) while excuses are made and deadlines extended left and right for the "father". The situation is exasperating and feeling very helpless, and it's happening to so many families- with a system so widely renowned as broken, I just feel like it's time to stop being victims and to take steps to try and fix it. If I come across as overzealous, it is not my intention. I will not spam again.
  5. I would have stated my issue as a question , but as I have clearly seen time and time again, lawyers seem to be "backed into a corner" on the issue, thereby making it the victims problem. Is this not an appropriate place to find people over the same barrel?
  6. Spamming? I'm sorry I'm confused- how does seeking help from people in similar cases constitute "spam"?



  8. This is for anyone out there who is suffering along with the kids in their lives as a result of DCF and a fatally flawed system- LETS SPEAK OUT TOGETHER. I have access to a way to have all our voices heard, and to draw the state of floridas attention to what is being done to our families- please let's all try together to change the system and protect our kids along with future children from winding up LOST in the endless shuffle of guardianship vs adoption- the rules need to be changed! Please message me if you are willing to contribute your story! Every voice helps! Thank you
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