I am a mom of three kids. Almost three years ago my three kids and I flew from Missouri to my homestate of Washington for a funeral and never went back to their dad in Missouri. I have worked my butt off so my kids could have a better life here than we did in Missouri. Their dad, since our departure, has lost the house we had, spent time in jail for stealing class c felony in one county and drug charge in another. He hasn't had a job in at least 10 years. After he was released from jail he has been put on probation and restricted from leaving the state. This last summer we agreed on the kids going to Missouri to visit him for the summer. If he would fund the trip then I would grant permission. Our original agreement of one of his sisters driving the kids there and staying for the length of the visit and driving them back, fell through four days before the kids were scheduled to leave. His other sister came to his rescue and bought the kids plane tickets. She provided an itinery to show who was taking them to the airport, what documents were needed for the trip, times of flights, the whole 9 yards. The flight down went as planned in the itinery. Two weeks before the kids were to return home my oldest child, 12, calls me and tells me that she is going to stay with her dad and her brother, 8, is staying too and I can't make them come home. The middle child, 11, wanted to come home and not stay. I told my daughter that I would call her back because I needed to think about what she just said. For that conversation and every conversation is on speaker phone for their dad to hear. I had to sit and think about how I felt about them staying and also look at things from their point of view. Their dad said he had nothing to do with the decision, they came up with it all on their own, and it would only be for the school year. I am the custodial parent. He was named persons NOT ALLOWED to pick up kids from school without contacting me first. Somehow he was able to get their school records transfered, obtain social security cards, and enroll them without any school, doctors, counselors anyone calling me or informing me of any transfers being made. When I talked to him verbally and through email to let him know how i felt and how I thought this matter should be handled, my wishes were ignored. I felt if our 12yr old wanted to stay then I would give my permission, our 11yr old wanted to come home, and our 8yr old, I didn't feel was ready to make that kind of decision. At his age he is easily persuaded and just wants to make his parents happy, and isn't mature enough to be able to decide where he lives. I suggested that he come home with his sister and at the end of the school year if he still wants to live with his dad I would give my permission for him to stay for that next school year. I put my plan for visitation and my request of how this living arrangement should work into a nine page email that he never read or responded to. Two days before they scheduled return home flight, his sister sends me a message asking how many kids she is picking up from the airport. I never told her that they weren't all returning home, or that I was okay with any decisions of any of them staying. It was clearly stated in the itinerary that all 3 were returning home. I believe she had something to do with the kids staying or knew what was being planned. So now is where I have the biggest moral ind maternal dillema. I haven't done anything to protest the 2 staying. He can't pay his bills and can't afford foodfor them. They dont have water because of an unpaid bill, their electricity is getting shut off for non payment. My daughter was complaining of an issue she was having that I believe is a yeast infection. I told her what to buy and that she needed to see a doctor to make sure. She is only bathing once a week and has only 4 pair of underwear so she doesn't change them every day. Their dad claims that their insurance won't work in that state. I called and their insurance, I have for them, is active and there shouldn't be any problems being seen especially for her problem. She first informed me of her problem October 24, 2016 and as of 11/7/2016 still hadn't been seen by a doctor and the infection is still there.
Their dad quit his job because concerned members of the church across the street stopped by and expressed their concerns of the kids being left home alone from 4:30pm-6:30am five days a week while he went to work. I had a huge problem with them being left alone. I didn't feel right leaving them home alone when they were all under my roof, even if i was never more than 5 min away.
I have been worried and stressed on what I should do. He can't afford to keep the kids, cant pay the bills and may loose his house. He is on probation and if he missed a payment he goes back to jail for remainder of hes 10yr sentance. They are living with no water, barely any food, about to loose electricity and the roof over their head. They don't need to live like that. I have plenty of food, my bills are paid, they have health insurance, all their needs are met. I don't know what to file, with what dept to file, or with what state to file in.