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Everything posted by courier2003

  1. My biggest concerns are the length of time that has passed (2 years), and being able to show that these belongings are indeed mine. I recenlty tried to contact this person in a good faith effort to resolve this situation without having to go to court. I haven't talked to this person in almost a year. All she did in response was forward me the same "Cease and Desist" letter that she sent in August 2016. So, it's obvious that I will have to take her to small claims court in order to have any chance of getting back at least the monetary value of these belongings. some of which had sentimental values.
  2. How long is the statute of limitations on a Warrant in Detinue?
  3. I just wanted to let everybody know that you were right and I was wrong about this. There was never any involvement (or maybe conspiracy is a better word) in this ordeal by any of my ex-wife's co-workers. I can understand now why some of you thought that was ridiculous. There were so many questions about this case that went unanswered for years. Maybe now I can finally put it to rest.
  4. I'm already getting professional help, but keep in mind the situation I'm in right now, and how stuck I feel. It's tough being a caregiver to a father who doesn't understand what you go through internally day after day. In the meantime, I'm making plans behind his back to move on, as so many have suggested I do. I'm trying to get some help from a social worker at a local VA Hospital (my Dad is a veteran) to make sure my Dad is still being helped in some way after I'm gone. He's too set in his ways, and he isn't willing to accept any kind of home health care. He insists he can still function okay by himself, but I don't completely agree with that. His identical twin brother, my Uncle Donnie, died in November 2016 under the exact same mindset. All I can do now is take care of me. It hurts that I feel very powerless to help my Dad more, but I can't. There are just too many situations with him that are outside of my control.
  5. So, would anybody else enjoy taking a shot at me? Or, I could offer you an alternative. Have your administrator remove me. Problem solved. I'm tired of feeling like damn fool and feeling as though I'm being laughed at like a weird student with issues. Just click on block beside my name, and that will be the end of it. Thank you.
  6. My time at that church ended after they tried to summons me. Once I learned about their archaic practices, I left immediately. Some people may agree with that kind of disciplinary procedure, but I never will. It was flat out unacceptable to cross that kind of a line and meddle in places they have no business poking their damn nose. There are much more productive and constructive ways to resolve problems among church members (or members of any group) than to use some damned judicial process. I was hurt, and for the last seven years, I've blasted the people involved---almost to the point of getting into trouble, but not quite. I never made any threats to anybody. In this day and time, I'd like to think I know better than that. However, I recently learned this on a LinkedIn chat from the person who chaired that Judicial Commission against me in 2011 (see below attachment). He visited my profile on LinkedIn recently. Being that I'm hundreds of miles away from him, I couldn't help but question how necessary this was. I'm not stupid enough to give this guy enough "rope" to hang me a second time. You know what? At this point in time, I don't give a sh*t. He should have just left me alone and let me go. Stupid bastard didn't have anything better to do I guess. SMH LinkedIn Chat.pdf
  7. Was there any written agreement involved in all of this? If not, then everything you've mentioned the landlord has told your friend to do isn't her responsibility. It's also wrong for the landlord to suddenly change terms. That's why written agreements (or leases) exist. If none of this is in writing, then tell your friend to just get the hell out. If the landlord wants to try taking her to court over this without a lease agreement stating responsibility for all of these things, then all I have to say to the landlord is "good luck!"
  8. Look, I'm sorry I bothered all of you about this. It appears I've made an ass of myself on here for the second time. As for things like counseling and medication, I've been involved in that for years, but they don't help but so much when your overall situation is not a healthy one. I shared with all of you at the end of my post what my current situation is. I've been honestly trying to get beyond all of these past hurts, but I've had limited success in doing so. The only "case" I thought I might have was an ethics violation, and no, pg1067, I'm afraid I wasn't kidding. I feel like I'm being laughed at by all of you. Well, enjoy a little "entertainment" on my account. I'm done with posting on here. I guess I'll have to concede the fact maybe I'm a little more screwed up in the head than I thought. That's for another section and topic on here. I'll pass. Catch you later.
  9. I certainly respect the advice that it is indeed time to move on, but that has been difficult. Incidentally, I received two letters from the church. It was the second one that mentioned moving the disciplinary process to the next phase which involved contumacy. I also wanted to clarify something else. I didn't grow in the PCA. I was raised in a different denomination that was much more open minded and much less judgmental. The only reason why I was ever a part of this church was because my wife was at the time. Neither one of us were aware of these controversial and even archaic disciplinary practices. I took a new members course before joining this church with my wife just before we got married in 2001. Nobody said anything to me about being subject to a judicial process should a particular event take place with a member. If I had known this, then I never would have been a part of that denomination. They might as well be a cult by choosing to handle orders of business in the manner they do. I personally could never do something like that to a fellow Christian or to person of any other religion for that matter. No, I seriously doubt anybody thinks anything of it now. It just hurt to feel trampled upon spiritually and in other ways as well. In the meantime, I am trying to get my life back together, but that too has been a slow and ongoing process. Please wish me luck with it.
  10. How did you draw that conclusion? The church had nothing to do with my job. I left my job and moved out of NC in May 2011, just a few months after the church tried to "prosecute" me. I needed to start over somewhere else away from where all of this happened. I might as well have been considered "the bad guy" in this case b/c my ex-wife had more "supporters" of her given her position at the hospital. For the most part, people only heard her side of the story, not that it was anybody's business in the first place. I do remember her telling me that she was going to inform her staff via email of what was happening, so I'm sure most if not all of her office personnel eventually became aware of the situation. As I mentioned already, she was a high up in the HR department at her job at this hospital. I was only a medical lab courier.
  11. In 2008, my now former wife began having medical issues with what is called a Cerebral Spinal Fluid (or CSF) Leak. Her condition was the result of a deteriorating bone that separates the sphenoid sinus cavity from the brain itself (see diagram below). The collapse of this bone allowed spinal fluid to seep into her sinuses and then out of her nose. Eventually, she would have to undergo multiple brain surgeries in an attempt to correct this problem. She spent almost one month in the hospital---ten of those days in the neurological ICU. She would eventually recover enough from her medical ordeal to lead a fairly normal life. Unfortunately, the toll it took on our marriage turned out to be too much. My ex-wife is a nurse, and at the time, she was also the Regional Director for Human Resources at a major hospital. The way she chose to deal with the aftermath of her illness created some ugly trust issues that would end up being one of the many reasons why our marriage failed. Several months after our split, I was kicked a second time by an organization that you would least expect. In January 2011, a letter with no return address was left under the welcome mat at my apartment. The letter was from the church I was a member of at the time, although I had not attended for several months. I was being ordered to appear before a Judicial Commission to answer to charges of immoral behavior, abandoning my wife, and pursuing unlawful divorce. I was very hurt and outraged. Not only did I not meet with the Commission, but I also withdrew my membership and warned that any further letters of disciplinary action to me would be regarded as an act of harassment. I added that I was nothing short of appalled at all of them. Had I not withdrawn my membership, then I would have been excommunicated for what they called contumacy (refusal to cooperate with the judicial body). I wasn’t about to give them the pleasure. By the way, the denomination that did this to me was the Presbyterian Church of America (or PCA). I learned the hard way that they have their own judicial system. They are the more conservative of the two branches of the Presbyterian Church, the other being the PCUSA. My ex-wife was not aware of any of this until a few years later after I had left North Carolina and mentioned it to her in an email. She was mortified. It’s obvious as I look back on the ordeal that I was targeted in some way. Ironically, this entire process was intended to bring healing and reconciliation, but it did nothing of the sort. It felt much more like an act of revenge. I never stopped wondering who specifically instigated this ridiculous process against me by the PCA. Of all the people I suspected, everything seemed to point to my ex-wife’s colleagues in the Human Resources Department at the hospital where she is still employed, but today in a different job. I submitted a detailed report to the Employee Relations Department of the hospital because I wanted some answers as to who was possibly involved. During one of the first follow-ups on my case, I was told that some senior officials were looking into it. My next inquiry was met with a much different response. When I called the hospital, I gave the person I was initially speaking with the case number. I wanted to learn why I was all of sudden not allowed to follow up on my own case. I was put on hold for what felt like an eternity. Finally, the VP of Human Resources for the hospital answered and claimed that she had nothing more to say. All of a sudden, my case no longer existed. “There is no case,” to quote her. She then abruptly ended the call. I’ve now been officially prohibited from calling or emailing anybody else associated with the hospital. Needless to say, my suspicions were raised even further. A number of things will prevent me from being able to learn what really happened. Today, I’m flat broke, so I have no money for an attorney’s help or anything else for that matter. I’m also guessing the statute of limitations has expired for a case like this. Too much time has passed. I’m now living with my Dad and being his caregiver, and I recently filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. I currently have no job outside of the house or a vehicle that I actually own. I drive one of my Dad’s trucks. I think it’s fair to say that if I’m not at rock bottom right now, then I’m damn close. I just wanted to share this and see what kind of feedback and thoughts any of you want to share. If not, then just move on to the next story. Thank you.
  12. Hello, again everybody. Well, the day in court with my ex-girlfriend has come and gone. I was surprised by the turnout, but it was a nice surprise. It's a good irony when you can say something like that in a place like a courthouse. If any of you ever go to small claims court, then I would highly recommend something they offer as an alternative to facing the judge. It's called mediation. This is an edited version of the e-mail I sent to the mediation office who handled my case. "Last Friday (08/12/2016), I had a small claims case on the docket against my former girlfriend, I wasn't looking forward to that morning for a number of reasons. Then, I heard somebody announce an alternative to facing the judge. It was called mediation. Having never been in court before, I was unaware of this option. Under the circumstances, I was more than willing to consider it with my case against my ex. After two hours of negotiations, I'm happy to report that mediation for our case was without a doubt the best possible option. When the session first began, my ex wouldn't even look at me. She was also reluctant to agree to mediation, but fortunately she did. Although it seems like a very ironic place for this to happen, I think one of the reasons why the session was so beneficial for both of us is because it cleared up some misunderstandings that she and I had been carrying with us for the past year. For me personally, it also brought closure, forgiveness, and peace of mind. That to me was much more valuable than whatever value my lost personal belongings were worth. To go from not even wanting to look at me at the beginning of the session to an embrace at the end of it said a great deal, and I'm thankful for that. If you could, please share this message with her too. I agreed to leave her alone, so I feel it best that you tell her. Thank you again so much for your service in helping us to resolve this matter amicably. Case dismissed." Final Verdict.docx
  13. I know this is easy for me to say, b/c I don't know the overall problems with violence in this particular apartment complex. I can't help but wonder if you should just "grin and bare it" for the remaining five months of the lease. When it's up, then get the hell out of there, and make sure the next apartment you rent from doesn't have these kinds of issues. I refuse to live in fear. Don't let any of his "followers" intimidate you. That is your home for right now. Don't give them that kind of power over you. They don't deserve it. This might be the most cost-effective way of dealing with this problem. I can't help but question whether or not spending the money on an attorney will be that beneficial to you. By the time your case is finished, the lease might be close to ending. Just my thoughts.
  14. My ex-wife is finally taking care of this. Six years after our parting of the ways, she is finally going to get my name off this home equity loan.
  15. I just wanted to let all of you know the latest on this story. I'm back in northern Virginia. I've filed a Warrant in Debt against my ex-girlfriend. It has now been a year since all of this happened, but apparently, the statute of limitations hasn't expired yet. Court date will be August 12th. I'm not sure if she will show or not. That's her decision. I've compiled what I think is a strong case against her. I understand that I may lose. I also understand that even if I do win, then there is no guarantee I'll get anything from her. You know what, though? At least I can say I gave it shot. I prefer that over doing nothing. You can call me crazy if you want. Whoever remembers some of my past posts about this case were calling me that and more. Well, go ahead. I'm doing what I feel I must. Whether or not people like it is beyond my control. Wish me luck....if you want to.
  16. I'm no expert on this, but these are my suggestions. Do you still have the receipts and documentation of all of the repairs to you have mentioned in your post? If it's close to or exceeds the amount of the deposit, then you shouldn't pay him back anything. If you didn't keep any of the information about the repairs, then that might be a problem. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!!! Remember those two words above all others. CYA might be three letters you've heard before also. I don't live in California, so I don't know all the details about rental and tenant laws. What I recommend is to make sure you have thorough and accurate documentation of the repairs made to your rental property. Document any incidents that took place during the time the tenant was there. Keep all receipts of the repairs. Make sure your former tenant gives you an accurate forwarding address. All of these things are important to do just in case you have to take anybody to court. Hope that helps.
  17. I apologize if I wasn't clear on "advice." What I meant to ask was for suggestions on how to handle this situation. As some of you have already seen from my previous posts, I'm no expert on legal matters. My ex-wife sought the divorce. I never sought an attorney myself. Although NC is a 50/50 state when it comes to dividing assets, I didn't want to fight her in court for anything. I was content to give her everything and walk away with only what I myself brought into the marriage. I never talked directly with her or her attorney. I left the state just before my divorce from her was finalized. The only issue we didn't resolve was having my name removed from a loan on a residence to which I no longer had any rights. I'm facing the possibility of bankruptcy right now, so I will eventually have to seek legal counsel on both issues.
  18. In July 2011, the divorce from my wife was finalized. One of the conditions of our split involved the separation of all financial accounts in both of our names. Those conditions were satisfied in our divorce agreement with the exception of one account. We still had an Equity loan (or second mortgage) on the home we used to reside in together. I would go on to surrender all of my rights that house. I signed a form which allowed me to have my name taken off the deed. I didn't want the house or any of my former wife's assets. The conditions of our separation, and eventual divorce, said "Husband and Wife stipulate and agree that they have heretofore divided any joint accounts and that each party shall be the sole and separate owner of any and all such accounts in his or her sole name." To this day, that condition hasn't been satisfied with this particular loan. I haven't complained very much because the loan has continued to be paid on time every month. It does, however, have a high interest rate, so my ex-wife isn't making very much progress on paying off the loan. She is actually paying just as much on interest as she is on the principal. In the meantime, I've had limited success after reminding her about this situation. Right now, I can't help her with paying off the loan because of my own financial situation. I've been told that she needs to refinance the loan or sell the house. She is now using the residence as a rental property. and she has told me that the amount, which is now about $13K, is too big to move to an unsecured personal loan. Although I myself am not paying on this loan, it still shows up on my credit as debt, which has begun causing some problems for me. In the meantime, this problem drags on with no resolution. My former wife sought the legal help to begin the divorce process. Therefore, I can't speak directly with her attorney about this matter. I never sought an attorney myself. I was simply sent the divorce papers, I signed them, and sent them back. After almost six years, I'm still dealing with this one last financial matter. Advice?
  19. What is the best way to find a reliable vehicle when you can't put down any money and your credit is not in the best condition? I've looked on places like Craig's List, but the problem with shopping for a vehicle there is that you can never be sure what you're getting. It's always a risk, especially with older vehicles, when you aren't covered by any kind of warranty. The problem with dealerships is that they always have to run a credit check, and I learned the hard way that too many inquiries on your credit lowers your score. Because of my credit situation, I've been told that I would have to buy a new vehicle in order for the banks to feel comfortable lending me anything. I like the older vehicles, but getting approved for a loan is more difficult. I do have a job and an income, but I still can't afford but so much a month on payments. I was hoping to find a payment of less than $200 per month, but in my situation, that probably isn't realistic. I welcome any suggestions you can offer.
  20. I'll just offer this update to anybody who still might be interested. First of all, I haven't lost any friends from this. My former classmates at this high school know me well enough to realize that I'm not a troublemaker. I'm also not impressed with what you're implying on this post, ElleMD. Let people think what they want about me. If they want to limit their contact with me, then that's their choice. All I know is that if the roles had been reversed, then I would have had the decency to include my ex in the invitation list b/c I wouldn't have made the mistake of planning this or any event with a personal agenda attached to it. Other people who were involved in this drama conducted themselves just as bad or worse than I did, so there's plenty of blame to share. In the end, somebody else took over the planning of the reunion, and it's scheduled for this weekend. It has suffered one problem after another, and the turnout for it will more than likely not be good. By the way, I'm not going. Why would I after all that went wrong? I just hope the next reunion we try to have won't be under-minded by all that took place with this one. Granted no laws of any kind were broken in all of this--only the spirit of the event itself. Once again, I apologize to each one of you for wasting your time with this "sob story." I'm over it. Time to move on.
  21. Thanks for your input, Platinum Coordinator. I am seeing a counselor for my problems. I've been seeing one for a while. A number of things have gone wrong with me recently at once, including facing bankruptcy and having to see my Dad's health continue to decline. I always looked forward to seeing my former classmates whenever we have reunions, and this time I feel like one of the Organizers, in this case my ex, deliberately used it as a tool to instigate a private vendetta by excluding me. Well, the most part she was successful. I hope it was worth it to her. In the end, nobody wins in these kinds of situations. I would have been willing to put my differences with her aside for the weekend so we could have all enjoyed the event, but that's no longer an issue.
  22. I apologize everybody. This was stupid. Nothing that was done here violated any law. For the record, there's no way in hell I'm showing up at this reunion. After all that happened, would you? SMH. I'm trying to move on, but the fact this caused so many problems for so many is what bothered me the most. I made some dumb mistakes, but I wasn't the only one. This whole thing blew up into something it shouldn't have. Life goes on.
  23. If anything, I guess all of you will get a good laugh out of this on my account. Well, I guess I asked for it.
  24. I thought I said I was done. Okay, so I'm the damn fool here. I admit it. Thanks again everybody.
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