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mellowcat

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  1. My goal is to find out what we can and cannot do in this situation. And my ultimate goal is for the kids to be in a safe and happy home. My SIL told her parents that he is bipolar and on medication just recently. Her first husband and the father of her 2 girls died 3 years ago. We have tried to maintain a relationship with all of them but it's been tough. My SIL married this guy within 3 months of meeting him online and when her siblings tried reaching out to her just to talk she pulled away and married him. Other extended family members were much more vocal about their concerns with this guy and her not really knowing him well enough to marry him, move to another city and have him co-parent two girls. That all played a part in her pulling away. Now that her cancer has returned and he choked her she is a little more open to communicating with her family. I appreciate everyone's help. I, as an in-law, am just trying to fact find and will pass this info on to my husband and his family. There are a lot of emotions going on and a lot of denial about the whole situation and I feel like it's the least I can do to help.
  2. Thanks so much for the information. The red flags are that he has lied about several things including his mental illness. We don't really have any evidence we could present in court which is why I was hoping the choking incident would automatically halt the adoption at least for a while so that we can try to talk to her and get more information and hopefully allow her to recover before making the decision to proceed with the adoption or not. Wouldn't CPS have been informed of the choking incident by the police? Is it possible to find out if charges were dropped by the prosecutor? Is that public information?
  3. My sis in law is widowed with 2 girls and now recently married to someone she met online and who the family is concerned about. She and he have been married about 8 months and she has started the adoption process for him to adopt her kids. She also has cancer again and it seems to be terminal this time. She has alienated most of her family due to the fact that most of us were skeptical of the new husband and so we only get limited information about their lives. Recently we found out that her new husband started choking her while she was asleep in the living room and her girls had to help her fight him off. She pressed charges and he went to jail for 3 days but then she went back with him and has probably dropped charges bc he said it was his medication and he doesn't remember anything. Whew. So my questions are: Can the adoption still go forward normally? Or is there an automatic waiting period when something like that happens? Can it be contested after the fact if we learn that her illness was affecting her decisions to let him adopt? Ex. If she has brain cancer and is not in her right mind. Can it be contested now and if so by whom? Before she met and married this man she asked my husband and I to take her girls if she ever died but now she is wanting this relative stranger to raise her kids if she dies. We are all concerned that this guy is not a good and stable person. There have been red flags from the beginning and now the choking incident is added to the situation. It's just surreal. And she is not acting like her normal self either.
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