Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
soccer_player

mom is trying to get guardianship

14 posts in this topic

My mother is planning to try to get guardianship or get a court to appoint a guardian for me. I am 21. My question is, can she do that without a doctor backing her up? We are in the process of moving to a new state. My current doctor does not support guardianship. Will obviously need a new doctor in the new state. Her main grounds are that I walked off in the park as it was getting dark, I got mad at her and walked off and decided to walk home by myself. Mile or 2 walk. Can she get a judge to sign off on that if my doctor does not support it? How does it work exactly, can she get a doctor of her own choosing to evaluate me? I also am on disability. I don't support her plan. Thanks

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Whether she'd be successful or not depends on a variety of factors.

 

What kind of disability do you have? Mental or physical? That you can walk a mile or two implies that it's not physical. On the other hand your writing ability implies that it's not mental. Please explain.

Are you collecting disability benefits?

Does the money come to you or to your mother?

Are you dependent on your mother for financial support?

Do you have a job?

 

Bottom line, though, you are 21, you are an adult, maybe it's time you flew the nest.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is a psychiatric disability, Bipolar Disorder. Yes, I am collecting disability benefits. The money comes to me and I am not at this point financially dependent on my mother. Don't have a job. I agree about flying the nest, but am frightened that she could get guardianship. She thinks I am impulsive because I have a history of running off when she makes me mad, and also of being aggressive. There are some incidents where I walked from our apartment to the CVS a mile or so away pretending to run off. The park incident was a month ago. Are these enough grounds for getting guardianship? Wouldn't my psychiatrist need to back her up with this?

Basically what's going on is I want to learn to drive, and she doesn't want me to. I also speak of moving out and she then starts saying she will get guardianship because she thinks my judgment is bad and that I am not ready. I am very frightened that she would do this.  

I appreciate your replies.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, soccer_player said:

My question is, can she do that without a doctor backing her up?

 

Since you've provided us with almost no relevant facts or circumstances, we have no way of know.  Certainly, she would have to show some unique facts in order to obtain a guardianship of an adult child.  What she would have to show specifically depends on the laws of your unidentified state and the reason(s) why she might seek to do this.

 

 

14 hours ago, soccer_player said:

We are in the process of moving to a new state.

 

I assume "we" refers to you and your mother.  Correct?

 

 

14 hours ago, soccer_player said:

Her main grounds are that I walked off in the park as it was getting dark, I got mad at her and walked off and decided to walk home by myself. Mile or 2 walk.

 

Ummm...seriously?  You're an adult.  You're free to walk wherever you want, whenever you want.

 

 

14 hours ago, soccer_player said:

Can she get a judge to sign off on that if my doctor does not support it? How does it work exactly, can she get a doctor of her own choosing to evaluate me?

 

She's not going to get a guardianship over another adult for the reason you mentioned no matter how many doctors "support" it.  That you're also bipolar doesn't change that.  Unless there are a lot of incidents of the sort you described that have resulted in dangerous situations, this is a non-starter.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a feeling we aren't getting the whole story here as no one attempts guardianship simply because someone takes a walk a few times. You mention "we" are moving out of state. Why are YOU moving if you are not dependent on your mother? You are over 18. Live where you want to live and manage your own affairs. If you can do that, she can't get guardianship.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, soccer_player said:

Basically what's going on is I want to learn to drive, and she doesn't want me to. I also speak of moving out and she then starts saying she will get guardianship because she thinks my judgment is bad and that I am not ready. I am very frightened that she would do this.  

 

Forgive my bluntness but I think you have another disability besides Bipolar Disorder.

 

No spine when it comes to your mother.

 

You want to learn to drive? Go to the DMV and get a learner's permit. Then enroll in a driving school.

 

Don't have a job? Get one.

 

If you still have to live with her, get yourself a PO Box for your personal mail, secure your birth certificate and social security card and any other private documents. Get a safety deposit box at your bank so she can't get her hands on any of it.

 

If your disability benefits are enough for for a studio or efficiency apartment, get one and move out.

 

She's not getting guardianship over you.

 

Again, grow a spine. It's the only way you'll ever become independent of your mother.

 

People with Bipolar Disorders manage to live their lives quite well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am moving to Kansas with her. I want to move to Kansas, so that is why I am moving and for no other reason. I plan to work on getting my own place at some point, one thing at a time.

And yes, I am going to enroll in a driving school as soon as we get to Kansas. I am standing up to her about the driving. Don't accuse me too harshly because I am working on the things you mentioned. Because I am standing up to her about learning to drive and talking about moving out, she is threatening guardianship. I have a history of running off for hours when upset and her not being able to find me. I have also been physically aggressive and threatening towards her. It's been a month since I did anything like that. I agree that she is way overblowing the park incident, but I am anxious that I would have to go to court against her. Don't have the resources for a lawyer. My social security is just starting so in a month I will have enough to live independently. I just want to learn to drive before I try to get my own place. One thing at a time. I realize I am late in all this, but I have struggled a lot through the last few years with the Bipolar. So, is the running off for hours plus aggressive behavior enough grounds for guardianship. Would prefer not to go into too much detail over the internet about the aggression. Like I said, I am working on becoming independent. I am planning to learn to drive as soon as I land in KS and then work on the job thing. Thanks

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 minutes ago, soccer_player said:

I have a history of running off for hours when upset and her not being able to find me.

 

So what?  You're an adult.  Since you live with her, courtesy dictates that you give her at least some idea of what's going on if you're not going to be home by the end of the day.  Beyond that, your whereabouts are none of her business.  If she doesn't like that, she's free to kick you out.

 

 

22 minutes ago, soccer_player said:

I have also been physically aggressive and threatening towards her. It's been a month since I did anything like that.

 

Wow...a whole month!

 

 

23 minutes ago, soccer_player said:

is the running off for hours plus aggressive behavior enough grounds for guardianship.

 

No.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok. Thanks so much. For my own peace of mind, can someone tell me if the guardianship laws are different in Kansas than they are from Virginia? Virginia is where I currently live. Is there a chance she could have more success getting guardianship in KS than VA? Is Kansas more "parent-friendly" and conservative in that way? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, soccer_player said:

can someone tell me if the guardianship laws are different in Kansas than they are from Virginia?

 

Every state's laws are different in at least some respects from every other state's laws.

 

 

1 hour ago, soccer_player said:

Is there a chance she could have more success getting guardianship in KS than VA?

 

Based on what you've told us, she has zero chance in any state.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok thanks so much. Are there are distinct differences from one state to another in general that you can think of? I looked up the laws but can't decipher any real differences.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0