amazed2

False allegations of Child Abuse

9 posts in this topic

I have been falsely accused by my child, 12 yrs. old, and the family law judge gave custody to my spouse with only 10 hrs/month of supervised visitation for me, even though I had 50/50 joint custody time and decision making, and took my dog away and gave it to my child. In addition I was required to give up personal possesions, pay for costs and more.  The judge did everything they could do to me.  I have not been charged criminally and it has been 7 months since my ex took my child to press charges against me.  I add that this was the only incident of accused abuse and that my ex had tried 3 yrs. previously to gain custody through their lawyer.

I was restraining my abusive child that intended to cause me bodily harm through hitting(20+ times), kicking, and trying to headbutt and bite me because I took away video games since I told the child it was time to go to bed, approx. 10 pm,, and the child refused.   What my child did was then accuse me of strangling and all or any proof was just hearsay since the child wasn't in attendance at the hearing.  Basically it was my childs word against mine since we were the only two in the house.  Recently I have observed that my child has changed the details of what occured in my favor.  I also know that my ex has put my child on medication for a mental condition that doesn't exist and had done the same 3 yrs. earlier when they, my ex, broke our parenting agreement while they tried to gain full custody.  

What I would like to know is what happens from here regarding the courts(NC) since my ex only has a temporary order. Is this order limited in time and if it is then what occurs after this time limit?  I want to know how I can get more "supervised" time which I have requested and been denied by my ex,   I don't want unsupervised time because all my child has to do is accuse me again.  I would like to know if my ex has the right to give my child medication without my consent.  I want to know I how to proceed regarding alienation of affection.  I do have legal representation at this time but I am looking for a second opinion. 

Thank you for your input.

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Being as none of us have read your order, we couldn't possibly know its terms. You do not have to be criminally charged in order for a family law court to find you unsuitable and restrict your visitation and or alter custody. It is clear that you can not parent this child appropriately and that is enough to warrant the change. Yes, the other parent can absolutely administer medicine. Why would you think they could not? If the kid is lying and becoming violent to ordinary announcements about bedtime, you are going to have an extremely difficult time persuading any court that there isn't some mental condition and medication is unwarranted. It is absolutely not alienation of affection for the other parent to follow the court order and not grant the parent accused of abuse extra time or unsupervised time.

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With all due respect ElleMD.  I know that no one has read the order.  To make an assumption of my ability to parent my child from just one post is pure speculation on your part.  Same as the speculation from a judge that made a decision in less than an hour.  Please stop making assumptions and realize that people post here to find answers not judgement. 

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Well, you asked about something we could only know the answer to if we had read the order. As for what you call judgement, it is what it is. You want to persuade a court to bar your ex providing medical treatment to a child who shows every indication of needing that treatment, and which a medical provider has deemed necessary. There is a very high bar to overriding a parent's right to treat a child's medical condition, and it is even higher when there is an actual medical professional supporting the existence of the condition and prescribing the treatment. Add in behavioral evidence that the condition exists and requires that treatment and your own admission the behavior is a problem and I am not sure on what basis you think any judge should overturn the prior order.

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No ElleMD, please go back and read my questions in my post and you will see there are questions, starting with the first one, that do not require that you or anyone else have to see the court order in order to answer. Again you have made an assumption that "it is what it is" without  having read the order which you claim is needed.  As far as medical treatment please read my post again and see that I have stated that the medication is for a supposed mental problem not a physical one. Again you have made an assumption that my child "shows every indication of needing that treatment" without knowing the circumstances or having any knowledge of how my child behaved other than what I posted .  I agree that there is a high bar to hurdle in order to not have a parents right to medicate their child but there is also a high bar for a parent to give medication to their child without the other parents consent when the original parenting agreement for 6 yrs. states that both parents have to consent to any action.  That right of mine has been taken away by the judge that granted temporary custody.  Here in NC and the county that has jurisdiction assigns a judge with the roll of the dice and then makes that judge the only judge to hear any and all hearings, complaints, etc. and make all judgments for infinity is a travesty.  If you cannot answer my questions but only make assumptions then please stop posting your opinions and assumptions to me. 

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Is this order limited in time? All child custody and child support orders are temporary. They can be changed when a party can prove to the court that there has been a change in circumstances since the last hearing. Usually, absent some kind of emergency, many courts want you to wait 3 years before entertaining a change. This prevents each party from serially filing after each motion they lose. I want to know how I can get more "supervised" time which I have requested and been denied by my ex, Go back to court is your only option if he will not voluntarily do it. I would like to know if my ex has the right to give my child medication without my consent. If it is not prohibited by the latest order the answer is yes. Taking the opinions and answers from strangers on the internet that you do not know, can be considered undermining to your attorney, so be careful.

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Thank you for replying with a positive and informative post.  If you would indulge me may I ask if my childs attitude towards my parents, my family and myself has been declining since the hearing, that is why I asked about alienation of affection, constitutes a change in circumstances ? My child has also proclaimed that lying is part of humanity and there is nothing wrong in doing so. This, along with the fact that my child is now on medication, appears to me as a change in circumstances.  Did you intend to say a "substantial" change?  Regarding the 3 yr. waiting period that most courts want is exactly what my ex did almost to the date within 2-3 days after their original attempt to gain custody previously.  It should be apparent that I am concerned about the well being of my child and are acting in good faith.  Thank you again.     

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Yes, it is generally required that it be a substantial change. I would not consider what you described as a substantial change, but I do not practice in your state. Your attorney would be the best one to ask if he felt this judge would consider these a substantial change.

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" my abusive child that intended to cause me bodily harm through hitting(20+ times), kicking, and trying to headbutt and bite me" " lying is part of humanity and there is nothing wrong in doing so"

Sounds an awful lot like a mental health condition as this is NOT normal behavior for a 12 year old. If you assert that it is not, and medication is not needed, you are going to have an awfully high hill to climb.It sure is going to take a lot more than you stating there is no condition and medication isn't necessary.

 

Whether you can block medication, how long your temporary order is in place, and how much time you get are all things likely addressed in the order we have not read. Whatever the most current order says is what is in place. Your old order is irrelevant. Does this current temporary order indicate that you must consent to any medical treatment? If so, and you do not agree, you get to fight it out in court. Talk to your attorney as to what is needed to convince a judge that your child is perfectly healthy and the medication not justified.

 

Again, you don't have an alienation of affection claim based on not having more time with the child if you are getting the time you were granted under the temporary order. You are both obligated to follow the order as written. We haven't seen the order, and don't know if that is what is happening or not. As you have an attorney, that is the best person to advise you on modifying the order or enforcing the order.

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