QDRO Process

3 posts in this topic

Hello, :)

Please advice to help me.


QDRO's process just began to divide Ex Husband's 401k with the QDRO specialist. They are not attorney but my former divorce lawyer hired this office when divorce was finalized. However, since Ex  H hasn't cooperated for a payment although the decree states the process at his expense, the case has been in pending for last 4 years. Because I may be in risk to lose all my right on my interest, I paid a fees and cost to complete QDRO rather than keep asking to provide a payment to him who hasn't intentionally done it


Q 1.) When other party is represented by a divorce lawyer and I am a self representative ( I couldn't keep having a lawyer due to financial burden and I still can't afford to hire ), is there any disadvantage for me to go through QDRO process without a divorce lawyer?


Q 2 ) The office say that in order to move forward in the process, I need to confirm this statement  we are jointly retained. If so, per Family Law Code 216, the opposing party or their attorney will be included in all communication with our office"    Is it true that I have to accept this?   I need to involve other party in this process because I am a self representative?


I am very afraid that I will get the same experiences I had in the past.  Ex and his attorney have done with using any tricky and dirty ways and lies to me and at the court that made me a lot of crying. I just want to get done and move forward my new life without any more harassment and interruption by Ex and his lawyer.

I had been isolated and abused since I moved to the U.S due to marriage with him. After 11 years of marriage, I finally could escape to DV shelter with the kids and filed divorce. My marriage life and divorce have been very painful. In addition, he stole all of my hard working life saved money I earned before the marriage . He's never satisfied even he was given a lot and a lot more than equal division of property.  I gave up a lot of my rights and even waived $$$ he loaned from my family.

The child support is behind, He ignores to provide half of medical expenses for the kids in the decree.

 This retirement fund is not large but this is only I got to be divided that I don't want to compromise anything with it.


Anything you will share for me would be appreciated.  Thank you very much.

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Of course you are at a disadvantage without a lawyer. That should be obvious. This is something you are going to need to bite the bullet and hire a lawyer for as it is not the kind of thing that can be addressed by message board.


If he isn't complying with the decree you have, take him back to court.

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1. Yes.

2. If the "specialist" is only willing to work with you on these terms, then yes (also note that it's not because you're self-represented).  If you don't like the terms seek out someone else.

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