Variz0117

Best interest of children

4 posts in this topic

I got pregnant by a man I barely knew in 2012, he had his doubts through the whole pregnancy so I offered him many times to do a DNA test before and after my son was born. He said he didn't want one because no matter what he's going to be his son. My son has his last name but he didn't sign the birth certificate because he is illegal and didn't have an ID. We were together up until my son was 2 and we split while I was pregnant with our daughter. He payed gave me money for both kids for the past 2 years and I gave him visitations without going through the court. He's married now and a few months ago, him and his wife went behind my back and did DNA test on both of my children when they were with them. They say that my son is not his but my daughter is and now he wants to cut off all ties with my son and only pay child support and see my daughter. My son is 4 now and he's always known him as his dad, so I don't think it's fair for him to have to see his sister going to his dads but he can't go so I told my ex that if he wants my son out of his life then he isn't going to be seeing our daughter either. Now he wants to take me to court, and I'm scared that the judge will allow him to only see my daughter. Any advice on what I should do would be appreciated.. thanks. 

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What is, is.  If the DNA tests are correct, the daughter is his child and he is responsible for her support and is entitled to visitation with her.  Legally, he has no duty to support your son and has no right or obligation to visitation with that child.  If he takes you to court the judge can only require visitation with your daughter.  So your only avenue to maintain the relationship between the man and your son is outside court.  If he has developed an attachment with your son.and cares about him, you may be able to convince him to continue visitation.  Since we cannot know how the relationship is between the parties we cannot give you any further analysis of what would work.  

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If none of this has been court ordered then 1) he's not obligated to pay support at all and 2) the visits with either child are entirely at your discretion. 

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22 hours ago, Variz0117 said:

Now he wants to take me to court, and I'm scared that the judge will allow him to only see my daughter. Any advice on what I should do would be appreciated.

 

Advice...no (other than to contact a local family law attorney).  However, if, in fact, this man is your daughter's father but not your son's father, that's exactly what the court will do.  More accurately, the court will only give him visitation rights regarding your daughter.  While it might suck, that's nobody's fault but your own.  Since you apparently believe what he told you about the DNA test, that means you must have had sex with more than one man around the time of your son's conception.  Therefore, you knew there was a possibility someone else might be the father, but you chose never to seek verification as to the father's identity.  I suggest you approach the other man or men with whom you had sex around the time of your son's conception and see if they'll submit to paternity tests.  All that said, I agree that, until such time as one of you involves the courts, any and all visitation is entirely at your discretion.  Likewise, any and all support payments are at his discretion.

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