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Ericc

Child Support for Father

3 posts in this topic

Ok so ive been with my GF about 2 and a half years now when we 1st got together she had a Son who was almost 1 at the time.Said child is now 3.Since the Child was born the dad took off to georgia knowing she was pregnant with his child.The guys dad is litteraly our next door neighbor so he can't act like he didn't know he had a son..So No contact from him for 3 years at all he don't even know this kids Middle Name..Ive been the Sole Provider for all 4 of us for 2 years now never once heard from Said Father.So 0 Contact in 3 years he knows our number he could of tryed at anytime never cared too.So about 3 or 4 months ago My kids and her are on Medicaid so the state picked up the case and basically forced us to take out child support on him.Keep in mind he not on the birth certificate either.So he gets the letter in the mail saying they takeing him to court for child support he decides to give us a call after 3 Years! Mad about child support and scared of going to jail.So he starts threats saying if he has to pay child support he will fight us in court and fight for custody of a kid he never seen or cared for...Then about 2 weeks ago they finnaly go to court over it and he agrees to pay child support they offer him a hearing he deny it..Calls us after court says aslong as we send all his money back to him assoon as we get it he won't fight us in court as long as he gets his childsupport back every month..How should we go about this? Should we give him his money back every month to not have to deal with it? Or are we just feeding him more money to fight us in court?? i need advise bad cause this 3 year old boy has no idea who this guy is and he extremely shy.He won't react good to being with this guy who has made it clear as day he don't care about nothing but money..We tryed to terminate his rights he agreed to it they wouldnt let us do it! Need advise please!

 

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First, while you clearly have a relationship with the child, there is no "we" here.  It's your girlfriend's child and another man is the legal father.  Second, child support is for the child.  No, she should not send it back.  She can put in the bank in a trust account for him if she doesn't want to spend it.  Third, if he wants visitation, he has to go to court and ask for it.  Child support and visitation are two different things.  Paying doesn't mean you automatically have the right to visit and not paying doesn't mean you don't get visits if they are court ordered.  Fourth, since this man has never even seen this child and made no effort to, he's not going to get custody and if he actually seeks court ordered visitation, mom could pretty easily get that visitation ordered as supervised for a significant period of time.  I seriously doubt dad will go that route since he'd have to travel which means making an effort he so far has demonstrated he isn't willing to make.  Lastly, if the two of you want to terminate his rights, that can only happen with a step-parent adoption.  So, you have to get married first, be married for at least a year and then seek the assistance of counsel for a termination and step-parent adoption.  Consult local counsel.

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On 4/9/2017 at 8:45 AM, Ericc said:

the dad took off to georgia knowing she was pregnant with his child.

 

It would have been nearly impossible for him to know that it was his child.

 

 

On 4/9/2017 at 8:45 AM, Ericc said:

Ive been the Sole Provider for all 4 of us for 2 years now

 

"4 of us"??  You, your girlfriend, and your girlfriend's child = 3, not 4.

 

 

On 4/9/2017 at 8:45 AM, Ericc said:

So 0 Contact in 3 years he knows our number he could of tryed at anytime never cared too.

 

Have you considered the possibility that, while he knew your girlfriend was pregnant, he thought someone else was the father?  What efforts did your girlfriend make to have this man be part of the child's life (your post mentions no such efforts).  She apparently made no effort to have him identified on the birth certificate, so that at least suggests uncertainty about the father's identity.  She also apparently never filed a paternity or custody action until she was "forced" to do so because she sought public aid.  Since she never did any of these things, perhaps this man assumed the child wasn't really his.

 

 

On 4/9/2017 at 8:45 AM, Ericc said:

So about 3 or 4 months ago My kids and her are on Medicaid so the state picked up the case and basically forced [her] to take out child support on him.

 

Hardly surprising.  Why should the state foot the bill for medical expenses when the father's identity is apparently known?

 

 

On 4/9/2017 at 8:45 AM, Ericc said:

How should we go about this?

 

I'm not sure what this question means, but there is no "we" here.  This is entirely between your girlfriend and her child's father.  Obviously, there is nothing she can do to prevent the father from seeking custody.  Therefore, returning his child support payments over that threat would be awfully stupid.

 

 

On 4/9/2017 at 8:45 AM, Ericc said:

this 3 year old boy has no idea who this guy is and he extremely shy.He won't react good to being with this guy

 

Well...that's too bad, because that's the man your girlfriend chose to have a child with.  She could and should have sought to involve the father in the child's life from day one but your post is silent about that, so we can only assume she did not make such efforts.

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