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    • Pending China Adoption
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Question from pendingchinaadoptionNov-6
The facts: My husband and I have been waiting for a China adoption for four years. He asked me for a divorce two months ago and filed a divorce complaint. We found out this week that we are next in line for the adoption. We were told that it might take anywhere from 4 months to 3 years longer, depending on how fast China moves. My dilemma and questions: My husband doesn't want to stay married in name only to adopt the child because he says he will be legally obligated to this child. My adoption agency told me that if I go to China alone, bring the child back to the US to adopt it, I do not need my husband to sign the adoption papers and I can adopt alone. My husband says no, he thinks he needs to sign the adoption papers for the adoption to be legal. Who is correct? Does he need to sign the adoption papers for the adoption to be legal? If he does not need to sign the adoption papers, is he legally/financially obligated to this child? Is this illegal in any way to stay married in name only just to adopt the child? Thank you.
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Fallen Nov-6 79060.2

I wouldn't rely on some adoption agency's assertions (esp. if you're paying them anything).  I can't imagine that the Chinese government would be okay with a single parent adoption (if it is, it's going to severely restrict the number of such adoptions it will allow).  You'd want to discuss these things with a family law attorney who is very familiar with adoptions of Chinese children.  It's entirely possible that it's *not* possible to adopt the child alone and that you are legally obligated to let the Chinese government know if you become single and amend your applications.

"If he does not need to sign the adoption papers, is he legally/financially obligated to this child?"

If he isn't the person's parent, he's not obligated to support them.  I think the relevant question here is whether the Chinese government would alone you alone to adopt this child. 

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pendingchinaadoption Nov-6 79060.3
Thanks Fallen, for your reply. If I were to continue with the China adoption, it would be with the understanding and cooperation of my husband that we will stay married until the adoption occurs, so in China's eyes, we will be a married couple adopting the child. I would grant him the divorce after the adoption is completed. So to respond to, will China allow a single person to adopt? No, that is no longer allowed, that is why I would need to stay married until after the adoption. The problem I am having is my husband not wanting to participate in this because he feels he will be obligated to the child. I am trying to figure out whether he will NEED to legally adopt the child in the US after I bring the child back from China, or whether I can adopt by myself, then grant him the divorce. Thank you.
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Fallen Nov-6 79060.4

"... so in China's eyes, we will be a married couple adopting the child. I would grant him the divorce after the adoption is completed."

"The problem I am having is my husband not wanting to participate in this because he feels he will be obligated to the child."

Er, he will be.  Morally and legally.  He will be(come) this child's legal father, so the dude needs to understand this going forward.  Not that it isn't done all the time by parents, but it's morally wrong to be someone's father and expect not to have anything to do with the kid.  It's not fair to the kid.  :)

"I am trying to figure out whether he will NEED to legally adopt the child in the US ...."

You seem to be thinking that a legal adoption from the Chinese government somehow doesn't make him the legal father in the U.S.  :)  Doesn't work that way (you don't have to legally adopt the kid in both countries for the child to be your child).

 

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Fallen Nov-6 79060.5

Just in case I somehow managed to avoid being clear, your legal relationship to your husband has zippity to do with your respective legal relationship with the child.  Once you two adopt this kid, it's your kid.  If you continue knowing this and let your husband continue in ignorance, once he finds this out -- whether it's before or after you two file for divorce -- he's gonna be really, really #### (and rightly so).  (This is all aside from the moral obligation to the child, mind.  You may be okay with the kid having a single parent, but the kid doesn't get a say-so.)

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