7 replies to this topic

[Jonesze]

I reside in Arkansas as do my 2 grandchildren, only 8 miles from where I live.  Before my daughter and son-in-law split up, I was regularly called to baby-sit and/or take the kids places, which we always happily did.  There were no problems.  My daughter and son-in-law had been married 13 years - they split this past August which was the last time I saw my grandchildren.  To make a long story short, I discovered what my daughter had been up to while cheating on her husband and becoming introduced to drugs and because she knows I now know the truth about her, she wants nothing more to do with me.  She relinquished full custody of the children to their father, but he will not let me see the children either, per her instructions.  She has always told him every move to make - It's always been that way and always will be.  ALL I want is visitation, once or twice a month so they won't forget who I am and because I love them.  Is there anything I can do?

[Ted_from_Texas]

Probably not.  So-called "grandparents' rights" laws vary from state to state, and I can't speak to Arkansas in particular, but as a general rule when both parents choose not to allow a grandparent to visit with their child for whatever reason, the courts will back them up.  You might wish to consult a local family law attorney to find out if there's a hook somewhere you can hang a case on, but don't get your hopes up.  Sorry I can't be more optimistic.

[missingmyhubby]

you as the grandparent have no inherit rights to your grandchildren. the only thing you can do is make nice with your daughter and hope she will let you see them. that includes keeping your nose out of her business. if she refuses, theres nothing you can do.

[Fallen]

missinghubby, that's "inherent", not "inherit", and I think the part about "keeping your nose out of her business" was a gratuitous/unnecessary shot. 

Poster's free to talk with a local family law attorney, and it's sad that your son-in-law thinks she calls the shots (and needs to grow a backbone), but there may not be much you can do until the kids are adults. 

[Jonesze]

Thank you, Fallen, I thought so too.....  I DO keep my nose out of her business, she's just mad at me because I reacted with SHOCK at her recent decisions and do NOT condone them, therefore she is punishing me by using the kids.  She can do what she wants, I just want to see my grandkids.  But, for now, I have resigned myself to there is nothing I can do.

[xansmom]

I have seen cases (in IL) where the court will grant grandparent visitation if the grandparent(s) can prove they were very involved with the children and that the visits would be in the childrens best interest. The courts do generally side with what the parents decide but there are times that grandparent rights are granted.

[justiceseeker64]

I think that if you are that adamant about the fact that your daughters behavior may be affecting your Grandchildren negatively that you should consult an attorney. Have you told your son-in -law about what you know? Or did they break up for another reason besides what you mentioned. It sounds to me like he is still whipped. I wonder if you could soften him to your side somehow. 

[woundedmimi]