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we have the kids 100% but we pay child support to the mother that does not have them!


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#1 sabymarie

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Posted 25 February 2013 - 03:41 PM

Ok so I have a huge issue..

We have my husbands 2 boys now and we are still paying his ex-wife child support for both of these kids that we have, how do we get this stopped?

A little more into the story, she in the divorce got custody of the boys about 13 years ago. We use to get them only in the summer and we pay all travel...

In the last 2 years has not been able to control them at all she finally called us in November of 2012 to pick them both up because the oldest was into drugs, hanging out with the wrong crowd and not going to school. The younger of the 2 lived with us all last school year and went home in the summer to visit and thought he should stay to help his older brother.. We now have them both

SO of course we did in return we simply asked that she just returned the child support we are paying for the 2 boys that she asked us to pick up..yep go figure no such luck,
now we have both boys that we can barely afford but somehow figure out monthly a way we can make it work..

They are both in school doing good their grades are a B-C average which they had to work up from F's. They have turned around so much since we have had them and have been so good here I do not want to let them go back to that situation. The oldest is not into any trouble, has not been into the drugs or hanging out with the wrong people and is actually looking forward to doing sports this next season..

We have called the Child support office and asked that they just stop the child support explained the situatuion and let them know we can prove we have them with school records and there reply is "we have to get a lawyer" Really??

So if there is anyone that has been in this same situation or has any advice I would love any and all help i can get :)

#2 LegalwriterOne

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Posted 25 February 2013 - 04:36 PM

Until the court order for custody and child support is changed by motioning the court, mom still has legal custody and your husband must pay the child support regardless of where the kids are actually living. If dad cannot figure out how to do that on his own, he'll have to seek the assistance of counsel.

#3 Ted_from_Texas

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Posted 25 February 2013 - 08:08 PM

Child support is paid by the noncustodial parent to the custodial parent as specified in the custody order, regardless of which parent has physical possession of the child. The way for your husband to get the child support stopped is to go to court and have the custody order modified to make him the custodial parent. He can do this with or without a lawyer. If he decides to do it without, he'll need to know the process. A good place to start is at the county courthouse, where the clerk may be able to provide him with the forms and procedure. If he needs help, he'll have to consult an attorney. Good luck!

#4 pg1067

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Posted 26 February 2013 - 07:14 AM

We have my husbands 2 boys now and we are still paying his ex-wife child support for both of these kids that we have, how do we get this stopped?


Your husband will need to request that the court modify the custody and support orders to reflect the current state of affairs. Obviously, specifics of how to do that depend on the laws of the unidentified state where this is happening and on local court rules.

#5 Fallen

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Posted 26 February 2013 - 11:19 AM

A little too much extraneous detail there.

I trust your husband understands that the moment he files to terminate child support and get her ordered to pay it to him, she'll change her mind about him having custody so he needs to be prepared for that battle. This means doing a cost-benefit analysis of the cost of an attorney, etc. to address whatever comes and weigh that against benefit to the kids on the off-chance that she manages to convince the relevant court to get them to order the kids back (and, if so, ordering her to get parenting education under her belt, etc.).

"Really??"

Yes, really. Courts don't like it when folks ignore an order when they can simply ask for the order to be changed. Hit the court's web site and look for forms; visit the court and ask to see other cases for modification of child support petitions.

I'll echo PG's advisory "warning" with a twist: (Many) legal issues are complicated. Explanations and comments here might not fully identify or explain the ramifications of your particular problem. I do not give legal advice as such (and such is impermissible here at any rate). Comments are based on personal knowledge and experience and legal info gleaned over a quarter century, and every state has differing laws on and avenues to address most topics.  If you need legal advice, you need to consult (and pay) a professional so that you may have someone to hold accountable.  Acting on personal and informational advice from a stranger on the internet is a bad idea -- at least not without your own thorough due dilience/research and confirmation as it applies to your situation.  :)


#6 missingmyhubby

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Posted 27 February 2013 - 07:58 AM

Ok so I have a huge issue..

We have my husbands 2 boys now and we are still paying his ex-wife child support for both of these kids that we have, how do we get this stopped?

A little more into the story, she in the divorce got custody of the boys about 13 years ago. We use to get them only in the summer and we pay all travel...

In the last 2 years has not been able to control them at all she finally called us in November of 2012 to pick them both up because the oldest was into drugs, hanging out with the wrong crowd and not going to school. The younger of the 2 lived with us all last school year and went home in the summer to visit and thought he should stay to help his older brother.. We now have them both

SO of course we did in return we simply asked that she just returned the child support we are paying for the 2 boys that she asked us to pick up..yep go figure no such luck,
now we have both boys that we can barely afford but somehow figure out monthly a way we can make it work..

They are both in school doing good their grades are a B-C average which they had to work up from F's. They have turned around so much since we have had them and have been so good here I do not want to let them go back to that situation. The oldest is not into any trouble, has not been into the drugs or hanging out with the wrong people and is actually looking forward to doing sports this next season..

We have called the Child support office and asked that they just stop the child support explained the situatuion and let them know we can prove we have them with school records and there reply is "we have to get a lawyer" Really??

So if there is anyone that has been in this same situation or has any advice I would love any and all help i can get :)

there is no we here-this is between your husband and the kids mother. you are a legal stranger with no rights say or standing to do anything. legally this is dad's issue not yours.




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