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Pot smoking husband and possible divorce


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#1 littlemouse79

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Posted 28 January 2013 - 06:15 PM

My husband's pot habit has been a problem for awhile. It is illegal where we live, and he had always agreed that he would quit once we had kids. We have a toddler and a baby. He hasn't quit, and my fear is, first, their health and well-being, but also what happens when one day one of the kids says something at school about his smoking?

He doesn't believe that DCS would get involved over pot, but I'm unconvinced, especially given where we live. I want him to see a lawyer with me and discuss how to best keep our/MY custody of the kids from being effected should something happen.

We have other issues, and I'm also considering divorce.

To my question, is there any way that seeing a lawyer now to discuss his pot habit and the kids could backfire on me should we divorce? And, when it comes down to it, is it true that no one really cares about pot when it comes to a child's home environment?

#2 TonyaTzianakakis

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Posted 29 January 2013 - 02:57 AM

Littlemouse79:
I couldn't help but reply to your question and concern. I have had to deal with this very issue for 17 years now. First, it will depend upon the state in which you live and the jurisdiction of the court (city). If you can find a prosecutor that will "push" the issue for you, then by all means, seek their guidance. As for CPS or DCS, unless the "pot" issue has caused some direct harm to any of your children (such as an accident during his intoxicated state), then they will not intervene. It is not deemed serious enough to warrant investigation nor removal of children; they have more pressing cases. I live in the state of Virginia and both pot and adultery are illegal; couldn't use either in my divorce case back in 2001. Also, over the years I have had issues with both our boys using pot themselves due to the fact their father did and got away with it. One of our children is autistic and just as recent as this past December, I contacted his doctor AND CPS to report the substance abuse issues and they said there was nothing that could be done. I sympathize with you and recommend you document everything so you are not held accountable for your husband's actions. I might also suggest (if you know a police officer personally) that you request the house be searched for drugs because you suspect them being in your home and you have every right as "community property" owner to be "free" of such hindrances. I wish you much luck and if you this is going on now, it will not get any better later on down the road; cut your losses and protect your children. They may be young now, but it will come up later in life.
Tonya
***** if you want to email me personally; I am studying law and would be glad to assist in any way possible. This is a definite sore spot with me.

Edited by FindLaw_AHK, 29 January 2013 - 08:00 AM.
This post has been edited to remove personal or identifying information. -Moderator


#3 littlemouse79

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Posted 29 January 2013 - 04:22 AM

Thank you, Tonya!

#4 pg1067

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Posted 29 January 2013 - 07:21 AM

My husband's pot habit has been a problem for awhile. It is illegal where we live, and he had always agreed that he would quit once we had kids. We have a toddler and a baby.


So...when you had the first kid and he didn't quit you still chose to have another kid with him? Sorry, but your decision making here is more than a little baffling.


I want him to see a lawyer with me and discuss how to best keep our/MY custody of the kids from being effected should something happen.


I'm not really sure what this means. If you and/or he want to maintain custody of the kids and prevent the possibility of child protective services intervening, he needs to stop engaging in illegal drug use. That's not something a lawyer can help with. If you allow the situation to continue without taking action, you are complicit in what he's doing.


is there any way that seeing a lawyer now to discuss his pot habit and the kids could backfire on me should we divorce?


"Any way" covers an awful lot of ground, and the answer can't possibly be anything other than yes. What you need to understand that, as it relates to a possible future divorce action, speaking with a lawyer isn't going to be any different than speaking with a neighbor or any other complete stranger. Anything you say in front of a lawyer with your husband will not be protected by the attorney-client privilege in a divorce action.


when it comes down to it, is it true that no one really cares about pot when it comes to a child's home environment?


Of course not.

#5 FindLaw_Amir

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Posted 29 January 2013 - 10:11 AM

We have other issues, and I'm also considering divorce.


You may want to visit the Family Law Center: Divorce and read Whether to Divorce as a good resource to learn more about this subject matter. I also suggest you consult with a local Divorce Lawyer to advise you further on your specific situation.
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