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Extra visitation

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#1 mahunny


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Posted 07 January 2013 - 11:27 AM

My ex son in law walked out on my daughter and grandson when he was only 1 1/2 years old. He has someone else and didn't want to be a family anymore. My daughter, husband and I have been raising my grandson since birth. His dad didn't have much to do with him before he walked out.
After about 6 months my daughter moved on and started seeing a guy they went to high school with.
All of a sudden her husband wanted her back. She said after all that he put her through the marriage was over.
My daughter has complied with the visitation order and then some. Their divorce was quiet and non-contested. Her ex husband is insanely jealous of her new guy. He has said some pretty bizarre things about my daughters boyfriend. Like he hated him, wanted to burn down his house. Hoped my daughter and her boyfriend would get in an accident an my daughter be ok and her boyfriend die, and that he thought he was losing it. Even my daughters ex's stepmother said she was worried that he would end up in jail, (and I have all of it in email and texts from his stepmom and from my ex son in law)
Now my ex son in law is harassing my daughter about more visitation. My daughter has given him more, even making up for lost visits due to her ex going on hunting trips etc during his regular visits. Her ex thinks if my daughter is at work he should have the baby even if it isn't court ordered. My grandbaby is with us when he isn't with my daughter but the ex doesn't want him around the boyfriend. My grandson is attached to the boyfriend as well as us. My daughter is now engaged to her boyfriend.

My question is do my husband and I have rights in since we have raised my grandson for the last 2 1/2 years? My daughter told my ex son in law that we (grandparents) want to see him too. We live in Washington State. My daughter is a wonderful mommy and she has been wonderful to her ex during the divorce following my example from my divorce.

#2 Ted_from_Texas


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Posted 07 January 2013 - 11:40 AM

Neither you nor your husband have any rights whatsoever concerning your grandchild, except as specified in a court order. Your daughter, however, has the right to determine who can and who cannot care for her child while the child is in her possession in accordance with her custody order. If she wants you to care for your grandchild while she's at work, that's her call to make. Your ex son-in law is only entitled to possession as specified in the custody order, no more and no less. Consult local counsel.

#3 pg1067


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Posted 07 January 2013 - 12:21 PM

My question is do my husband and I have rights in since we have raised my grandson for the last 2 1/2 years?

No, you don't.

In the absence of a court order, no person other than the parents have legal rights regarding a child. Under some circumstances, a grandparent or other non-parent may be able to obtain a court order for visitation with the child, but nothing in your post suggests the circumstances are such that you could obtain such an order. I agree completely with the prior response. However, your grandson's father is free to apply to the court for more visitation. He can also seek a "right of first refusal" (i.e., a provision that says something like: "if the custodial parent is unable to care for the child for a period longer than X, the custodial parent must give the noncustodial parent the option of caring for the child during such time period"), which is a very common provision in a custody/visitation order. While it is good for a child to have a regular relationship with grandparents, in the absence of other relevant facts, courts typically will prefer a parent over a non-parent.

#4 mahunny


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Posted 07 January 2013 - 01:11 PM

I am aleady aware of First right of refusal, that isn't in their order. It would not be in the fathers best interest to take it to court because of all the evidence we have against him and he willfully abandoned his family and had no relationship with the baby until about 6 months ago. I really don't want to have to do that. My daughter and I have been very kind to him because that's how it should be and we have text messages and emails to prove it. I watched my husband go through a horrible divorce, not only did his ex lie and get caught the court still let her get away with everything. My husband was his kids primary care giver but after his ex was done with him he had supervised visits with no evidence to support her claims.
I have talked to my ex son in law and asked why he had so much hostility toward my daughters new man. He said he hates him and blames him for everything.....I told him that he was the one who left his family but he doesn't see it that way.

#5 Guest_FindLaw_Amir_*

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Posted 11 January 2013 - 10:41 AM

You may want to visit the Family Law Center and read Grandparent Rights as a good resource to learn more about this subject matter.

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