Jump to content


Photo

ESTATEs and adult children rights


  • Please log in to reply
6 replies to this topic

#1 wm_morningstar1

wm_morningstar1

    New Member

  • Members
  • 1 posts

Posted 12 December 2012 - 08:33 AM

My daughter's husband of four years is capable of working but lazy and out of work since she has known him and will probably continue to be a parasite on her forever. She has supported him and their family. Even if they divorce, he is the type that will go after her for alimony since that is the type of individual he is. -- we are aware of our state (pa) laws that dictate.... in case of divorce, he must receive half of her assets.

For reasons mentioned above, plus many more, how can we include in our will, that our estate inheritance cannot be touched by him and/ or that she keeps it in a special account for her and her children.

our attorney tells us, it's not possible!


Part 2.... would also like to know------ if we are no longer here, and in the event of my daughter's passing that our inheritance can be put in a trust for her children.... where he cannot have power over it as the surviving parent?

#2 Fallen

Fallen

    Platinum Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 59,940 posts

Posted 12 December 2012 - 08:45 AM

While he might be able to get temporary spousal support, he won't get it for very long if they've only been married four years.

"we are aware of our state (pa) laws that dictate.... in case of divorce, he must receive half of her assets."

You've misinterpreted how it works (this is incorrect), but never mind. He's free to pursue his share of marital assets.

"our attorney tells us, it's not possible!"

Your attorney is an idiot and you need to discuss estate planning with a different, reputable estate planning attorney whom you've checked out. Even if what you were trying to say here is that you don't want HER to be handing over $$$ she receives from you to HIM, there are ways to put money in trust and give trustee the power to be the one to buy X or take care of Y bill that has been established to the trustee's satisfaction as being for primarily for her benefit or a kid's (even if the husband gets tangential benefit of it by way of it being a family car or other property).

Your last "question" seemed to be a repeat of the topic of not wanting him to be able to touch it. Yes, there are ways to ensure a trustee is not the parent of the children.

I'll echo PG's advisory "warning" with a twist: (Many) legal issues are complicated. Explanations and comments here might not fully identify or explain the ramifications of your particular problem. I do not give legal advice as such (and such is impermissible here at any rate). Comments are based on personal knowledge and experience and legal info gleaned over a quarter century, and every state has differing laws on and avenues to address most topics.  If you need legal advice, you need to consult (and pay) a professional so that you may have someone to hold accountable.  Acting on personal and informational advice from a stranger on the internet is a bad idea -- at least not without your own thorough due dilience/research and confirmation as it applies to your situation.  :)


#3 Guest_FindLaw_Amir_*

Guest_FindLaw_Amir_*
  • Guests

Posted 12 December 2012 - 10:23 AM

This is a matter you may wish to consult with different local Probate & Estate Administration Lawyer to advise you on how to address your concerns. I also suggest you visit the Estate Planning Center as a good resource to learn more about this subject matter.

#4 Tax_Counsel

Tax_Counsel

    Platinum Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 17,637 posts

Posted 12 December 2012 - 11:29 AM

"our attorney tells us, it's not possible!"

Your attorney is an idiot and you need to discuss estate planning with a different, reputable estate planning attorney whom you've checked out.


No, he's not. The OP stated that she asked if the will can provide that "our estate inheritance cannot be touched by him and/ or that she keeps it in a special account for her and her children." He's correct that such a restriction cannot be imposed by a will. You're right that a trust can help to avoid some of these problems, but in the end once the asset is distributed to the daughter, the daughter is free to do what she likes with it, including letting her leech of a husband have access to it. A trust could be set up to benefit just the grandkids and bypass the daughter, however. I agree that consulting a good estate planning attorney is a good idea.

#5 pg1067

pg1067

    Platinum Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 45,837 posts

Posted 12 December 2012 - 02:09 PM

My daughter's husband of four years is capable of working but lazy and out of work since she has known him and will probably continue to be a parasite on her forever.


A comment like this makes me wonder what wonderful things he might say about you if he were posting here. In other words, and just as an FYI, talking smack about someone we don't know and who isn't here to defend himself tends to have the effect of casting you, rather than him, in a negative light.


Even if they divorce, he is the type that will go after her for alimony


Since your daughter voluntarily agreed to allow the situation to exist, it would only be reasonable to expect her to pay alimony if they divorced (subject to the length of the marriage and other relevant factors).


we are aware of our state (pa) laws that dictate.... in case of divorce, he must receive half of her assets.


That's not correct. The law provides that marital property (which is most property acquired during the marriage) is to be divided in a manner that the court determines to be equitable, which may or may not be 50/50. Thus, it is an error to state that all marital assets are "her assets" or that your son-in-law would necessarily get half of all assets.


how can we include in our will, that our estate inheritance cannot be touched by him and/ or that she keeps it in a special account for her and her children.


I'm guessing that "we" are you and your daughter's other parent. In terms of how you can do this, there are probably at least a three or four basic ways you can do it and a virtually infinite number of ways to tweak the finer points of your estate plan (which may include more than just a will or wills). Keep in mind that much of this may depend on which of you dies first, how much of your assets you and your spouse need for your own personal expenses as you age, and whether your attitudes toward your son-in-law change over time. You should discuss your desires with a local estate planning attorney who can advise you regarding your options in terms of estate planning.


our attorney tells us, it's not possible!


Unusually, I am inclined to agree more with "Fallen" than with "Tax_Counsel" here. I particularly agree with "Fallen" that your lawyer is an idiot if he only said it's not possible, based solely on the fact that your question only speaks of a will, and failed to mention the possibility of creating a trust or other options. Even if you limit your estate plan to a will, it certainly is possible impose enforceable restrictions. However, off the top of my head and without knowing anything about your assets, my inclination is that a separate trust would be a better vehicle. That said, I do agree that, once money is turned over to your daughter, there is no effective way of preventing her from giving it to her husband or using it for his benefit (although you could set up a trust that provides for seriatim distributions and makes each distribution other than the first contingent on your daughter submitting an accounting of how she used the money from the prior distribution -- like I said, there are virtually an infinite number of ways to tweak the details).


Part 2.... would also like to know------ if we are no longer here, and in the event of my daughter's passing that our inheritance can be put in a trust for her children.... where he cannot have power over it as the surviving parent?


The short answer is yes. In a nutshell, you would need to create a trust that does not immediately distribute all assets to your daughter and which provides that, if she dies before her husband, the remaining trust assets are to be paid to or used for the benefit of your grandchildren. There are other possibilities that might be a bit more cumbersome.

#6 mathis007

mathis007

    New Member

  • Members
  • 2 posts

Posted 13 December 2012 - 01:57 AM

I'm not a lawyer. If you feel this strongly about it, get an estate lawyer. You have the right to protect your children and grandchildren, no matter what anyone says. My Grandparent's set up a similar trust for my cousin. Her Father's inheritance remains in trust until he dies, then it all goes to her outright. They even did this with property. Her Father's trust allows him to receive an income from the trust. You may want to include medical, education, and hardship as ways for your daughter to get funds for these things. It may be best to set up a separate trust just for the grandchildren. Be sure to appoint 2 trustees, and be sure you can trust the executor 100%, actually 1000%. Be sure you get an experienced estate lawyer.

#7 pg1067

pg1067

    Platinum Contributor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 45,837 posts

Posted 13 December 2012 - 07:33 AM

You have the right to protect your children and grandchildren, no matter what anyone says.


And because you say this, it must be true, right? I'm unaware of any legal right to "protect" one's adult children or grandchildren (although it's not really clear from what you think the poster might need to "protect" his/her children and grandchildren).


My Grandparent's set up a similar trust for my cousin. Her Father's inheritance remains in trust until he dies, then it all goes to her outright.


What you describe as an "inheritance" is not an inheritance at all.


Be sure to appoint 2 trustees, and be sure you can trust the executor


Since you admittedly are not a lawyer, you really shouldn't be giving this sort of advice (indeed, even if you were a lawyer, this site's rules expressly prohibit giving legal advice). It is occasionally advisable to appoint multiple trustees. However, more often than not, it is a recipe for disaster. What happens when (not it) the co-trustees disagree about something? As far as "trust[ing] the executor," if there's a trust, then it may be that no one is ever appointed to serve as executor.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users