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complicated issue with mom in another state


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#1 cquestion

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:44 AM

I have a question. when a family member has POA over a mother what does that mean?
can that person call the lawyer & ask for what mom has asked to be done like i.e.
mom calls lawyer and she asks for a copy of her will to be sent to her daughter in another state
and have it sent ups so that when she gets home from anohter state which she is now
visiting her mom that it will arrive, can the daughter that has POA, call the lawyer
& ask the lawyer to NOT send the copy of the will to the other daughter?
My concern is our mom. she just got out of hospital and is recovering.
NOW there are more problems, my sister has restricted me from all cell phones, so
I can NOT talk to our mom or call anyone elses phone to talk to our mom.
I was just there in their state to see our mom due to illness. NOW sister
has went and done this with the cell phones...please
help me. I am worried about our mom and I need to know if she is ok....
she just got out of hospital on saturday which was the day I got there.
Pls tell me my rights as her daughter. I have a copy of original will which
states all property etc is going to both of us (the sisters).
Since my mom requested the copy be sent to me ups and it would arrive
yesterday ups when I got home and I would receive a copy over my
email, I have NOT received it. I would like to know my rights as her daughter.
I appreciate ur help...thank u so much! I know this is dramatic stuff, but I want
to know how I can talk to my mom and know how she is, since I have been cut off
from all communication.

#2 FindLaw_Amir

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:06 AM

You may wish to read the LawBrain: Power of Attorney article as a good resource to learn more about this subject matter.
FindLaw's Legal Heads-Up! newsletter can provide you with the legal resources you need to make informed decisions when law touches aspects of your everyday life.

#3 Ted_from_Texas

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:10 AM

Any real response to your message is difficult, because it's based on a false premise. No person -- whether related or otherwise -- can have power of attorney (POA) "over" another person. A power of attorney is simply a document whereby one person (the maker or principal) authorizes another person (the agent or "attorney-in-fact") to act on the principal's behalf in certain specified personal, business or financial transactions. What the agent can and cannot do is specified in the document itself. Under no circumstances can a POA override the principal's wishes, and the principal can revoke the POA at any time.

#4 cquestion

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:23 AM

so that means that mom is the principal and sister is POA and she the POA can not revoke
the principals wishes. that is very helpful. thank you.
also what about (even though it is drama) the issue'
of the sister (POA) being the POA having all ways of communication cut off from me the
other daughter? is there some kind of law that grants me (the daughter)
the right to talk to my mom? I just left our mom and sister in another state and just
got home yesterday back to my state and alot of stuff, phone calls and stuff,
happened as soon as I walked in the door. Now today when I try to call my mom, sister
& everyone in that state, I find out I'm restricted. so I cant TALK TO MY MOM or
anyone else to see how my mom is...thats not good.
she just got out of hospital saturday. Pls help me with this issue also.
thanks for all the help and comments on this topic. I'm just now recovering from
a illness myself.. also my mom have been told by the dr to have NO stress. this
issue us stressing her out. thanks!

#5 Ted_from_Texas

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:36 AM

Unless your sister has a court-ordered guardianship or conservatorship over your mother's person, your mother is free to communicate with whomever she wants, whenever she wants. However, no person has a legal right to communicate with another person over that person's objection. So if your mother wants to talk to you, she can. If she doesn't, you can't make her. Absent the above-mentioned court order, your sister has no say in the matter. Consult local counsel.

#6 pg1067

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:21 AM

I have a question. when a family member has POA over a mother what does that mean?


It doesn't mean anything because it's not possible to "[have a] POA over" another person. A power-of-attorney a grant by one person (typically called the principal) of authority for another person (typically called the agent or attorney-in-fact) to act on behalf of the principal in connection with certain matters. A POA can be very broad or very limited, and determining the scope of any particular POA can only be done by reading it.


can that person call the lawyer & ask for what mom has asked to be done like i.e.
mom calls lawyer and she asks for a copy of her will to be sent to her daughter in another state
and have it sent ups so that when she gets home from anohter state which she is now
visiting her mom that it will arrive, can the daughter that has POA, call the lawyer
& ask the lawyer to NOT send the copy of the will to the other daughter?


A bit of a run-on sentence here. Might want to consider proofreading what you write before posting. Needless to say, anyone can ask anyone else to do or not do anything. Whether the lawyer would or should follow the instructions of the mother or the daughter's subsequent, contrary instructions is impossible to determine without knowing the specifics of the POA and the nature of the relationship between the mother, the daughter, and the lawyer.


my sister has restricted me from all cell phones, so
I can NOT talk to our mom or call anyone elses phone to talk to our mom.


What do you mean by this? How is your sister purporting to have the authority to "restrict[] [you] from all cell phones" (especially since you apparently live in a different state)? What about non-cell phones?


I would like to know my rights as her daughter.


In the absence of a court order, children have no rights concerning their living parents.


I have a copy of original will which
states all property etc is going to both of us (the sisters).


A will is a document that directs the disposition of the property owned by the person who made the will (called the testator) after the testator's death. Accordingly, as long as the testator is living, the testator's will is a legally meaningless document.


Since my mom requested the copy be sent to me ups and it would arrive
yesterday ups when I got home and I would receive a copy over my
email, I have NOT received it.


First of all, how do you know what your mother requested her attorney to do? Second, if you already have a copy of her will, for what possible purpose might you need another copy?


I want
to know how I can talk to my mom and know how she is, since I have been cut off
from all communication.


Whether you talk with your mother or not is entirely up to your mother. If your mother is physically incapable of making a call to, or receiving a call from, you without your sister's assistance, and if your sister making that impossible, it may be that she is violating some sort of elder abuse law in their unidentified state of residence, so it might be worth contacting the appropriate local authority about that.


so that means that mom is the principal and sister is POA and she the POA can not revoke
the principals wishes. that is very helpful. thank you.


I'm at a loss to understand how you could reach this conclusion since "Ted_from_Texas" very clearly (and correctly) said that "the principal can revoke the POA at any time" (although there is a qualifier that the principal must be legally competent to do so).


is there some kind of law that grants me (the daughter)
the right to talk to my mom?


Any applicable law will be state specific, and you haven't identified the state where your mother lives (and, it won't be an issue of you having the right to contact her; it will be an issue of the legality of your sister restricting your mother's ability to communicate with others). It's also worth noting that your reaction after only a single day might be a bit of an overreaction.


also my mom have been told by the dr to have NO stress. this
issue us stressing her out.


How could you possibly know this since you haven't communicated with your mother since this issue arose?

#7 cquestion

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 12:10 PM

I read the doctors orders when I was there in New Mexico. I saw that it said "remain calm, take
all medications, get plenty of rest, stop smoking if you smoke". I read all of the orders
and discharge papers from when she got out of hospital. She just got out of hospital on the day I
arrived.

So now that I have said the state where my mom is, which is NMexico, does anyone
know the laws on elder abuse or stuff relating to this issue? My sister has taken the cell phone from our mom many times
before. NOT because my mom cant make any calls on her own, just because my sister is a little
shall we say "convining or another way would be to say, she likes to be in Control of the situation"
she has restricted me from calling my mom and talking to her before, this is NOT the 1st time.
Please help me with this issue about cell phones and restricting me from calling my mom.
I wish to talk to her since NO ONE will allow me to talk to her. They have NO LAND LINES. THEY
only have cell phones. everyone in the state of New Mexico (which would be sister, sisters boyfriend, sisters son)
has restrictions on their pHONES so I CANT FIND OUT HOW SHE IS...this is disturbing to me
her daughter. Thank YOU SO MUCH FOR HELP ON THIS matter!!

#8 Ted_from_Texas

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 12:27 PM

Sounds like you need to contact Adult Protective Services (or the equivalent authority) in the county where your mother currently resides, and explain your concerns to a caseworker. He or she will know what, if anything, can be done under the prevailing circumstances and the relevant New Mexico laws. Good luck!




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