4 replies to this topic

[Foxhound]

Recently my ex-girlfriend and I broke up. I've been trying to get her to agree to a mediation for a few months, which she claims she wants to do now. I checked myself in a psych ER last month due to an overwhelming amount of stress and kept having panic attacks one after another. I went to the courthouse last week to file a claim to establish paternity, and had her served that day. After doing so, she hired an attorney and is now claiming her lawyer says "In no uncertain terms until we get a court order in place regarding custody. My ex-girlfriend is not permitted to release our child from her custody. I can, however, visit their when it's conceinent to do so."

Is that legal? Could I get a police escort to remove my child? I just want to visit my kid without having her breathe down my back or watch me. I have no history of abuse, no history of restraining orders, no arrest history, etc.

Not sure if this matters or not... but my name is on birth certificate, and I signed the declaration of paternity a day after birth.

Thanks

[Ted_from_Texas]

Yes, it's legal. Until your paternity is adjucated and a formal custody and support order ("parenting plan") is issued by a court of competent jurisdiction, you have no enforceable parental rights whatsoever and the child's mother gets to call all the shots. Until you can produce the custody order, the police will just ignore you. I'm sorry.

[Foxhound]

I went to our local police station to ask if they could write a note of the incident, which they did. I know they wouldn't show up without any abuse, but I figured a written and verbal agreement would overrule her anger. But I guess I'll just have to play the waiting game and hope I can get a rush hearing for a temp custody order.

Do you think me going to psych ER is going to rule in her favor for custody? She's been on psych meds since pre-teen, and October was my first visit ever for anything mental related. I've never even been on any sort of meds, or had health issues for the most part, until last month.

Also, she claims her attorney filed a claim and I'll be getting served sometime this week. I thought you can only have one claim? Am I missing something, or can there be two claims? They told me to come back a little after Christmas, so I'm trying to get everything prepared.

Sorry if I'm rambling. Thanks for the advice/help Ted.

[FindLaw_AHK]

To learn more about this subject matter, you may wish to visit the Family Law Center and read Child Custody as a good resource.

[pg1067]

Is that legal?

I'm not sure exactly what "that" refers to, but nothing you mentioned in the first paragraph of your post is illegal.

Could I get a police escort to remove my child?

According to your post, paternity has not been established, which means that, in the eyes of the law, the child is not yours, so no.

I just want to visit my kid without having her breathe down my back or watch me.

If/when paternity is established, the court presumably will enter an order allowing you to have visitation. Until then, you'll just have to be patient.

Not sure if this matters or not... but my name is on birth certificate, and I signed the declaration of paternity a day after birth.

The name on the BC doesn't matter. Signing the declaration of paternity should make establishing paternity a relatively simple process (assuming the mother also signed it).

Do you think me going to psych ER is going to rule in her favor for custody? She's been on psych meds since pre-teen, and October was my first visit ever for anything mental related. I've never even been on any sort of meds, or had health issues for the most part, until last month.

Then these things probably wash. However, if the mother has been the child's primary caregiver, the court is not likely to disrupt that without compelling facts.

Also, she claims her attorney filed a claim and I'll be getting served sometime this week. I thought you can only have one claim? Am I missing something, or can there be two claims?

Kinda pointless for us to speculate about what may or may not have been filed. Your best bet will be to go down to the court house and review the relevant case file(s) to see what has been filed.

They told me to come back a little after Christmas, so I'm trying to get everything prepared.

I'm not sure who "they" are or where "they" told you to "come back" to. You probably would be smart to consult with a local family law attorney.