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Can I lose the kids in a custody battle if I don't have a job?


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#1 MandysKids0924

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Posted 19 November 2012 - 01:22 PM

It's been almost a month since I have lost my job. I was making good money too but in a call center if your call handle time isn't to standard, they can terminate you and that is just what happened. Now, in my custody agreement with my ex husband, we have joint. He pays child support and also takes care of the medical according to the decree. He is also in the military and I just recently heard that he may be leaving the military sometime next year. My ex lives in El Paso, TX and I live in Nebraska and it has been that way ever since the divorce...where I have always resided in Nebraska where he was always in another state or even country.

Well, just recently, my ex contacted me and wanted to know what was going on as he had heard that I was running into some financial issues and was afraid I could'nt afford to take care of the kids so he advised that while he is away in Texas and his wife is in Oklahoma, that he would not mind helping me out till I get back on my feet again by allowing the kids to stay with his wife in Oklahoma// I guess he visits like a few times each month. His wife would be the kids care taker for awhile and start up school in that state.

The only problem that I have with this is that my kids are going to be many hours away and I do not wish to do skype because I can not hug them, kiss them, and spend time with them as I normally do. I did even offer the chance to possibly move to Oklahoma but she advised me that I couldn't afford to live there. Yes, this was all from my ex husband's wife telling me this because my ex husband asked her to talk on his stead. The issue with that is that she is telling me that she and her husband have a right to report me for neglect since I can not afford to take care of my own children. I have a car, with full covered insurance a place to live, food in the house, the kids have their own beds, they have plenty of clothes to wear, they take showers, and yet she is trying to say that I am neglecting my kids because I lost my job and can't live on just the child support, which for now is ok.

So my ex husband though hasn't seen the kids since 2007 due to the same thing that happened to me this time. He and his wife to be were stationed in Alabama. The kids were very young and not in school yet so I asked my ex if he could have the kids maybe for just 3 months. We were full blown divorced by that time though. I was living with my parents then and I was evicted from my last place....so yes financial issues came about just like now. So the kids stayed with their father for awhile until his soon to be wife/now wife who was also the care taker of the kids during the day, told me that I wasn't feeding the kids well, they mis-behave, their clothes were too small to wear and there wasnt enough clothes for three months...so she was calling me out as neglecting my kids and told me (yes, and the kids father was in the same room...didnt budge to say anything to defend anyway...because this matter was between me and him and of no concern of hers...) and said that they would not bring the kids back till during the summer. And I just had to have my kids back because they were a very important part of my life; my number one. I heard that if they had the kids for 6 months, they could get custody of the kids and with them being a military family, it would be very hard for me to see my kids.

So here I am just freaking out not knowing what to do...I called my lawyer and she advised I talk to someone at the courthouse about his breaking the rules on the decree; as we had no written agreement done about him taking the kids 3 months and he was suppose to have the kids for just 2 weeks. I did find someone and he had to call my ex on the phone and offer the written agreement for 3 months or else bring the kids back....he of course decided to just bring back the kids. But because of this, he was told that with the military he could not take the kids out of the state anymore. And to this day he feels I had claimed he was kidnapping his own kids...or at least that is how his now wife is making it sound.

But I am tired of doing this again and going thru with dealing with his now wife again and not dealing with my ex. I want to be at the point where I can say "I will not deal with you anymore at this point. If you want to ask me anymore questions you can just deal with my lawyer" because I feel like I am being pushed and harrassed into giving up my kids to them like I had no other choice. I should only be dealing with my ex husband and not his wife on these matters. So do you think that after very little contact with the kids, no presents being sent, no birthday cards, for many years....but yet they both have jobs and I do not...a judge will still award me custody since the kids still have a reliable place to stay for the time being while I find work? (I just feel that everytime I fail at something, they try to help me out and think that by taking the kids from me is the way to help me out.....when it will only break me)

#2 FindLaw_Amir

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:06 PM

In almost all situations, a court will keep one primary question in mind when deciding a custody case, namely, what is in the best interests of the child. To learn more about this subject matter, you may wish to visit the Family Law Center and read Child Custody as a good resource.
FindLaw's Legal Heads-Up! newsletter can provide you with the legal resources you need to make informed decisions when law touches aspects of your everyday life.




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