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Relinquishing Paternal Rights


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#1 FairyGM2B

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Posted 22 May 2012 - 02:43 AM

Greetings. I live in Virginia, as does my grandson who I have not been able to see for almost a year now. Why? Well, I am the paternal grandmother in this matter and its a bad situation involving my youngest son and the mother of his son. She uses my grandson as the tool to get what she wants from us outside of child support  & its not right; and I just don't know where to start to get a response or help.


My son is 21 years old now and he doesn't get to see his son without problems from the mother of his son. We have gone to court and against my son's will joint custody was given to the mother and maternal grandmother. This is a issue cause the maternal grandmother tells the mother what to do and if we cannot comply to the request then we are unable to be part of the baby's life. It has been so bad that the maternal grandmother had put the mother out the house when she allowed me to keep the baby one night while she went out. 


The hurtful thing of the matter is this. The mother use to stay at my house cause her mother had put her out and she was living on the streets going from house to house. I blame myself for my grandson being here but I could not see her out on the street. I just have a heart like that & I am reaping pain and disrespect from it.


I am suppose to pick up my grandson every other weekend cause my son is married now and the mother of his son cannot deal with this at all. She harassed him & his wife on Facebook; as well as through personal emails & text messages. My eldest son thought  she was going to be a nice person & befriended her to make her part of our family but felt differently once she disrespected my mother (yes, the paternal great grandmother). I have actually printed all of that information out in case we end up in court. Well, I have gotten injured since then so I am not able to pick him up and that is an issue cause she does not want to drop him off. Or when I do pick him up she purposely have for me to take him elsewhere to drop him off when its time to take him back and that became an issue cause of work schedules and other factors.   


Now, I see him whenever I see his mother and maternal grandmother in the store. It hurts cause I love him and do all I can for him but in their "book of truths" its not enough. And its not fair that Virginia allows it to occur. I was a single parent and raised both of my boys by myself.  When my youngest son's paternal side wanted to come and see him; I allowed for him go. I did not ever block there involvement in his life.


Well, my grandson's mother is still harassing my son and its to the point now that my son is tired of it and wants to give up all his rights as a father. Do I have any other grandchildren? No, I don't. My eldest son just graduated from college with a BA in Education and History and isn't going to get married until he finishes with his Masters.  My son lives in Raleigh, NC with his wife. They have a house & everything but his son's mother & maternal grandmother make it clear that my grandson can never leave the state.  And my son only gets 16 - 24 hours of visitation a month if the mother and maternal grandmother don't have other plans for him. So what can my son do to just give them what they (the mother and maternal grandmother) want...my grandson completely.


 



#2 Ted_from_Texas

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Posted 22 May 2012 - 03:04 AM

Your son cannot unilaterally relinquish his parental rights and obligations.  The days whan that could happen are long gone.  He has the right of reasonable visitation but it's up to him to enforce it.  If the mother is violating the terms of his custody order he can file an action to have her held in contempt of court.


As the child's grandparent you have no intrinsic right of visitation of your own. You are expected to visit on your son's time with his consent.  Unless your son's custody order explicitly says otherwise, he has the right to take the child anywhere he wants -- including out of state -- during visits, and he can designate any responsible adult to provide transportation for the exchanges.  When the child is in his possession it's up to him to say who the child can be with, including you and his wife.


A local family law attorney can best advise your son of his rights and possible options, and how to assert them.  If he chooses not to enforce his rights, he is the problem and not the child's mother.






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